Thursday, January 31, 2019

The Heat are 110-108 with this core over three seasons.

Is Pat Riley going to be satisfied having this team as the last entry on his list of career achievements? 
Well, my goodness. Liverpool spit the bit today--didn't lose but didn't win. Which means they drew. 1-1 was the result at Anfield and so City escape the Newcastle Nightmare only five recoverable points behind the leaders.

This was a strange two days of matches. Arsenal won but barely, 2-1, at home to Cardiff. Manchester United needed a Fergie-era stoppage time goal to draw with Burnley. And today Bournemouth shook and stirred Chelsea 4-0 at the Martini Glass.

So after this chaotic 48 hours Liverpool are +5 on City who are +2 on Tottenham who are +7 on the "Gunners" who are dead even with Chelsea on points, wins and goal difference. Chelsea is up 2 on United in sixth place. Helluva Premier League season. Helluva season.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

This Is Pretty Doggone Cool if You Ask Me

In a cave in the Altay Mountains of Siberia, Russia near the borders of Kazakhstan and Mongolia lived a hermit named Dionisij in the 18th century. The cave was named after the hermit, Denisova Cave.


Denisova Cave is not hard to spot

if you happen to be in the village of Chorny Anui in the Altai Krai federal subject of Russia but since there are no pictures on The Google of the village of Chorny Anui, only this road

which appears the less traveled road leading to or from or somewhere near Chorny Anui Russian anthropologists did not make it to Denisova Cave until the 1970's when they went looking for dog bones. For some reason. They found human remains instead. Which, I'm sorry, I would have expected to find human remains in so inviting and large mouthed a cave, which I would have half expected to
have a Chorny Anui Hilton sign over it's entrance...Looks like they could have had valet parking too.

The discovery of human remains has led to constant human presence since; these are denominated "turists."

They need to replace that with an escalator.

These are pros, not smelly Ohioan tourists.



Denis the Hermit, were he alive would have to search for a new cave as his namesake is crawling with humanity.

And just this week, in Nature mag, the pros report that Denisova Cave actually was inhabited 
continuously for 300,000 years by a now extinct branch of humanity :o. Is that not cool? Named the Denisovans duh. Who left the cave at some point, intermarried with Neanderthals, and migrated to parts unknown to them but which we call shit hole countries, Papua New Guinea and Jamaica, where one of the last known ancestors of the extinct orange hued Denisovans

was born and has been found to occupy a minor position in charge of another Russian subject district.

And I for one think that is pretty darn cool. 
Proverbs of Hendyng, late 13th c England

Ȝeue þi cunte to cunnig and craue affetir wedding.




Cardi B "I Do," early 21st c America










Here's a word to you ladies,
don't you give these niggas none (give 'em none)
If they can't make you richer, they can't make you cum.








Geoffrey Chaucer "the Tale of the Wyf of Bathe," late 14th c England















I wolde no lenger in the bed abyde,
If that I felte his arm over my syde
Til he had maad his raunsoun unto me;
Thanne wolde I suffre hym do his nycetee.
For wynnyng wolde I al his lust endure
And make me a feyned appetit


Cardi B "Money" early 21st c America








I like boardin' jets, I like mornin' sex (Woo)
But nothing in this world that I like more than checks (Money)
All I really wanna see is the (Money)

I don't really need the D, I need the (Money)
“Polar Vortex,” man, what a great name. I’m going to change my name to Polar Vortex.

How cold is it in the polar vortex? Ask this toilet

(MarketWatch)

Fine. Trump?

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Black Tuesday

Manchester City's loss today is, I think, the most exasperating, the most soul crushing of any defeat I can remember post-Manchester Revolution. In the era of Maine Road and Joey Barton, Calamity James and Georgios Samaras bleak was Manchester City's name and the gut punches and hopelessness came monthly at least.

But that was before, this was after. City has lost this season to: Crystal Palace at home, at Leicester, now at Newcastle, three teams that City, The Tremendous Machine of just last year, should have steamrolled. Three matches, zero points. Already behind Liverpool by four and a chance to close to a technical one. Liverpool are vulnerable to pressure, they have not been here before without succumbing, "slipping." City failed to tighten their collars. Liverpool have not slipped this season and the pressure is now off. They play Leicester tomorrow at Anfield and they should play loose and confident. They should roll Leicester and restore the seven point lead they had when City stayed clinging in the title race with a 2-1 win at Etihad. 

Have Man City subconsciously turned away this season from the Premier League to focus on the Champions League? Winning the Champions League is the Holy Grail, and City never really have been close. The Champions League is the obsession of City's hierarchy. It is the reason Pep Guardiola was brought in to manage. If they win the Champions League, and they are one of the favorites to win it, that will be uncharted territory for this club. It is their Final Frontier. But this team was put together to win everything, not the league one year and the Champions League the next but never the two in the same year. This soccer club's aim is to dominate the world. Winning the Champions League would be breathtaking, would complete the competitions to be won since the Manchester Revolution. But failing in the EPL to win in the UCL does not constitute world dominance. And if they fail in the UCL, and I believe that they will fail, and fail in the EPL then this season will have been a shocking two steps back with no steps forward. There will be long soul searching sessions in the Etihad if this team roll snake eyes.

So yes indeed, there has been no other defeat that has potential to becloud Sheikh Mansour's vision for this club than this one.

This game was a lot more fun an hour ago.

Newcastle 2 Manchester City 1, 88'

Oh my goodness. And Matt Richie knocks it home from the spot and Newcastle, behind 1-0 after 24 seconds now in pole position to take all three points. Joy in Liverpool!
PK for Newcastle. Oh my God.
Oh Lord, Newcastle tie it in the 66’.

Nobel Prize Winner Reportedly Knew About Gene-Edited Babies Months Before It Was Announced

(Science Alert)

That's why he won the Nobel Prize duh.
Ali Hamidi

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The gulf of talent between these two teams is a joke! @ManCity just incredible in every position. Newcastle like rabbits in headlights every time they get the ball. 🤣😳😳😳

12:41 PM - 29 Jan 2019

Mike Ansley's a joke. Still 1-0 approaching the break though.

Why did City's logo remind me so powerfully of a car company's mark? Because it's a steering wheel duh.
888sport

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Newcastle starting XI cost: £50 million
Man City starting XI cost: £450 million

Crazy to think that Newcastle actually finished above Man City the season Mike Ashley bought the club...

#NEWMCI

Disgraceful. Worst owner in the Premier League, Mike Ansley.
How is it still 8:30 pm there and still light out?
Possession is 50%-50%. Weird stat.
Newcastle has made it through 24' now.
Newcastle, whazzup?
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I’ve seen everything now - KDB takes a freekick (which is scored) too quickly and gets yellow carded 😕 #mcfc #ManCity

12:18 PM - 29 Jan 2019
MansionBet


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GOOAL... oh no, chalked off.

Freekick is taken quickly and Aguero gets his second, but it's ruled out as the referee isn't ready.

De Bruyne is booked for taking the freekick too quickly,.. 🤔

Newcastle 0 - 1 Man City

#NEWMCI #EPL

12:18 PM - 29 Jan 2019
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🔥 24 seconds.

#PremierLeague
Men in Blazers

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WELL DONE NEWCASTLE. SO MANY DOUBTERS. SO MANY HATERS BUT YOU MADE THEM ALL EAT THEIR WORDS HOLDING OUT FOR AN ENTIRE 25 SECONDS BEFORE CONCEDING AGAINST MAN CITY 🙌🙌🙌

12:07 PM - 29 Jan 2019

Newcastle 0 Manchester City 1

I swear to God. In the first minute. Everybody is kun fu fighting.

Shooting of Houston Police Officers

The headlines this morning are ambiguous. "Five Police Officers Injured." Injured? Well, it turns out four were shot and one hurt his knee. One of the firearm-injured officers was shot in the shoulder, another more seriously in the neck...Apparently two were shot in the neck, they are in critical condition, but it's confusing. One of the subjects had a .357, the officer who was shot in the shoulder took that one. But there is also mention of a second subject "making a move" for a shotgun. Since--How many are we up to now? Three.-the fourth officer was shot in the face and is being released from hospital today I take it he was not shot with a .357 but was hit with pellets from a shotgun. One of the officers shot in the neck, in critical condition, was alright enough to have passed a written note to the police chief in hospital. What happened to the third subject? Was there a third subject? Ah, the fog of war.
Christ Almighty. Tuesday night football in the Mother country. City plays at Newcastle today at 3 pm Normal Colony Time. Important match for both clubs at opposite ends of the table. City cannot afford to drop any more points to catch Liverpool and Newcastle desperately need points to stay away from relegation.

The simultaneous competitions that every European club soccer team have to participate in destroys the rhythm of the sport's season. Matches have to be rescheduled based upon availability; for a top club like Manchester City that progresses in all four competitions you end up with these Tuesday night abortions. For lesser clubs that get knocked out it's just one less competition they have to prepare for. For fans of course the rescheduling is also a problem. But for fans from afar (Here!) the rescheduling is a deal breaker. Can you imagine paying for a round trip air ticket for a once in a lifetime chance to catch your favorite team's match in person and then have the match rescheduled? Turn me into a goddamned terrorist, that would.

Monday, January 28, 2019

I've got to say something.

Remember Olivia Nuzzi? "They don't care!": Trump supporters. They don't care about Trump's stands on particular issues, don't care if he changes his position from one day to the next. "They care about him!," Nuzzi wrote. "They believe he won't fuck them over because he's never been fucked over."

It made a good deal of sense to me. It made such sense that it was paradigm shifting for me. Finally! I understood part of it.

It turns out they do care issues, one issue. I thought it was two issues for a long while, repeal Obamacare, I thought that was first among equals. Of course, the Beaded Curtain was the second. But Trump failing on Obamacare repeal has been nothing compared to his inability to hang the curtain. His approval rating has really dropped off since The Chuck and Nancy Reality Show II.

And what I've got to say is I think Trump is listening to the wrong people. People who do not love him, who do not have his best interests at heart, who hate him, actually. Ann Coulter is who I mean. Almost exclusively Ann Coulter.

It was Ann Coulter alone who got Trump to go all wooly in the knees over shutting down the government--over putting The Wall to rest as a defeat, like Obamacare, and moving on. Shutting down the government--that is the reason Trump's approval has shoaled. People have never liked government shutdowns--ask Newt Gingrich! More people have not liked government shutdowns more intensely and longer than people who love The Wall. That is just fact. But Ann Coulter jilled her feminine essence all over the foot of her fantasied wall. More than she squirted over Trump. Coulter wrote a truly vicious--I read it, about the only thing of AC/DC's I've ever read start to finish--scorched earth, never-go-back screed on Trump that cursed everything but his birth (I would have cursed his birth.). And Coulter was Trump's Bitch Wet Nurse. She's written paeans to him:  "In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome!", "Resistance is FUTILE!" Now Coulter is part of the resistance. 

That's not love. That's not support. That is hate. And it is self hate, for Coulter hates herself. Coulter hates Trump, hates him because he's an unqualified, incompetent, stupid, bullying liar, which she has always known, really known, felt it, believed it. He's Cowardly Lyin' Trump--and he is! Always has been! The only people Ann Coulter hates more than Trump are herself and everybody else.

Coulter hates herself for having birthed Trump, nursed him, reared him up into power. She cannot stand success, will not abide it. She is, and has always been, looking for the opportunity to turn on Trump. See, Ann Coulter hates love. Look at those book titles. They're not sincere. Ann Coulter's oeuvre is hate, not hero worship, not love. She deliberately gives her books over the top titles to make a buck. She supported Trump, gave him The Wall idea and...well, in for a dime, in for a buck. But Trump is God, Awesome!, that's not Ann Coulter's oeuvre. Hate is her oeuvre. Trump has found this out too late. He listened to Coulter. Listened to Red Fox. And now they've turned on him, especially Coulter.

I'm tellin' ya, if Trump had paid no attention to that Coulter article, if, in other words, he had not been goaded by his Bitch Surrogate Mother into shutting down the frigging government for 35 days over his stupid Beaded Curtain, his approval would not have tanked in the last month. If he had taken the defeat and moved on he would have put the whole thing behind him. He would not have lost one iota of approval among his base base, who truly "don't care!", and he would not have lost anything near what he lost among normal people disgusted by another Republican shutdown--over Christmas to boot! Shutting down the government, not the goddamned wall, caused Trump to lose support from normal people.

Trump is a thieving, corrupt, tool of Moscow, a non compos mentis, semi-literate boob, a cowardly lyin' pustule on the asshole of mankind. And he always has been! Now, thanks to Ann Coulter, someone he thought cared for him, more people know. Coulter "doesn't care!"

FIVE COPS SHOT WHILE SERVING WARRANT IN HOUSTON

Two of the officers are in critical condition, three stable.

Three subjects: two righteously killed, the third still holed up in the house.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What the Miami Heat can do to acquire Anthony Davis






Anthony Davis asks for 

trade, but can Heat, Pat 

Riley get on his radar?

Manchester City since beating Liverpool 2-1 on January 3:

7-0 Rotherham (FA Cup)
9-0 Burton (Carabao Cup)
3-0 Wolves (EPL)
3-0 at Huddersfield (EPL)
1-0 at Burton (Carabao Cup)
5-0 Burnley (FA Cup)
28-0. Which was also the half time score in Clemson-Alabama I think I said I think.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

St Louis Firearm Game Life Termination Event

Oh that card Nate Hendren! After he won the game with Katlyn Alix he and his unidentified partner loaded Katlyn into their police vehicle and drove her to the hospital where Nate, still feeling frisky, quoting the St Louis Post-Dispatch here

"head-butted the back windshield of a police SUV parked nearby, breaking it, sources said. He suffered minor injuries to his head, and remained hospitalized."

Nathan! My goodness, you could have dislodged the steel plate in your head, my lad. High spirited lad, Sgt. Hellmeieir, Nate is a high spirited young 'un.

It is presumptuous of me to suggest, Sgt. Hellmeieir, I beg your indulgence. Since Nathan is in the hospital, whatcha say you have the doctors do a full physical, psychological and toxicological inventory of the Nathan organism? Ask the leeches to check to see if Nate's dick had all its parts and was functioning as a dick is designed by God to function. How's about a 72 hour involuntary observation period of Nate to see if he head butts any other inanimate objects? One of those fancy CT scan things on Nate's brain--which I presume is as normal as any cop brain--seems to be indicated too. And a blood sample. How about taking a sample of Nate's blood to see if there are any foreign substances therein. Nate's behavior raises interesting questions to the effect of whether Nate's elevator goes all the way to the top. Perhaps the findings of all of these poofie non-police experts would assist you in determining what the fuck went on in Nate's house when he was on duty when he was not supposed to be in his house; ditto I presume for his "partner". Your department's policy manual requires officers to,

“constantly patrol his/her beat, except when on special assignments and shall not lounge, loaf or gather with others at any place...".

That we can all agree, Sarge, young Nate did not done do!

Sarge, the issues and questions here grow like dropsy and I would be derelict in my presumption if I did not ask you to dispassionately consider whether you really feel that you are the right man to answer all of these questions and follow all the leads there are to follow and when you've left no stone unturned--And, Sarge, there are BOULDERS out there brother, frigging BOULDERS--and when you've left no stone unturned to throw down other stones to turn over. That is what is required Sergeant Hellmeieir and you haven't even looked under the boulders much less the smaller stones. You have boarded the Fuck Up Express and you are the only passenger and you don't know how to operate the Iron Horse and before it gains speed and jumps the track and throws you over the cliff, you better get some of your mates on board to stop this runaway train or at least slow it down. Do not pass by Murder station without really slowing down and looking at that stop and if you see Nate on the platform bashing his head against inanimate objects stop the fucking train or do a controlled derail because that is your stop. Don't miss it Sarge. You'll never pass this way again.
You go from watching Golden State-Boston highlights to contemplating these dreadful matchups: 9-41 Cleveland at 11-38 Chicago, and 23-24 Miami at 10-37 New York and it's like those latter teams are playing a different game altogether. Or they're in a different league, like Manchester City playing a second division club. 
My goodness, I just watched a couple of minutes of highlights of Golden State at Boston. Kyrie Irving is unguardable. I have never seen a quicker player. Derrick Rose in his prime? Maybe so, I can't picture D-Rose in my mind now to do a comparison, it has been so long. And Golden State has some athletes now! They couldn't guard Irving. He is so much quicker, he can juke them to get a wee bit of separation for a shot or drive to the basket. And his array of shots--and ability to hit them--...he's unguardable. He has range and he has this little one handed jump push shot where he puts his left side to the defender and shoots with his right hand, creating just a little space where the defender cannot get close enough to block the shot without fouling. If he drove squared up, face to face with the defender he'd get his shot blocked and he's so slight of build he'd get knocked into the first row.

Derrick Rose was too quick for his body and his body told him so. Kyrie had a similar injury in the playoffs LeBron's first year. Physically and psychologically Rose never got the quickness of his MVP year back but Kyrie can not have lost any quickness from his injury, that would be physically impossible. Irving is just a phenomenal player. If his body holds out he's unstoppable.

Saturday, January 26, 2019


Oh! Sarge, sorry, but was Officer Alix--Pretty thing, isn't she?--sorry, didn't mean to be sexist, what was the state of Katlyn's dress? Since she was off duty, she wasn't in full uniform presumably? Wasn't wearing her bullet proof vest which might have stopped like a bullet to the chest? What was she wearing when she and Officer Hendren...

Not as pretty a thing IMO! SORRY!




...were playing? And when the game was over what was the state of her dress or undress? Not...Oh...



Excuse me Sarge...Was um, Oh! I was saying, Not that police officers ever commit adultery! And certainly Nate would not be sexually attracted to Katlyn, would not want to discharge his bodily essence onto the bare, naked chest of Katlyn, nor into her bodily cavities of which she would have had three nor to discharge his service weapon into Katlyn's chest cavity which lies underneath her naked chest skin. Sergeant Hellmeier why did you not mention in your probable cause affidavit how Katlyn was clothed? Was a rape kit performed on Katlyn's body? Did you take DNA from Hendren, you know, just in case?

The skin around the entry wound on her chest was swabbed for the presence of gunshot residue so that you could approximate range of fire, right? Was there any intermediate target like a shirt, bra, etc.? And if so, as I assume! were said intermediate targets swabbed for the presence of ANY RESIDUE WHATSOEVER, BARIUM, ANTIMONY, LEAD, OR SEMEN?

Was Officer Hendren in full uniform? All buttoned up, zipped up, spit and polished? Yes, since he was on duty right? Vest? Be sorta a one-sided game of Russian roulette if he was wearing a vest and she had on like a t-shirt and Victoria Secret's bra or whatever and they were shooting at each other's chests wouldn't it lol. In classical Russian roulette, don't the players fire the guns at their temples, their heads? Hendren's head would have been unprotected unless he had had a steel plate inserted at a previous time. Is that why Hendren chose the chest? Is this like the St. Louis variant of Russian roulette where one player wears a bullet proof vest, the other doesn't and you shoot at the chest? I've come up with a name for it if you don't want to use St. Louis Variant: murder. Roll that one around on your tongue. Think about it. I like the sound of it on these facts.

Were Officer Hendren's weapons tested to see if they were functional? All of his weapons. You guys issue revolvers to your police officers? No, right? Semi-automatics, right? Glocks? What, do you think we're the Wild West here in St. Louis? No, of course not, they get issued 9mm Glocks just like in real police departments. OF COURSE. You've checked his revolver, right? For operability? To match to the bullet taken from Katlyn's chest cavity underneath her naked, unclothed skin? Test his service 9? How about Uncomfortable Voyeur's guns, test them?

Have you checked Hendren's dick for operability? Why? Just cuz. Did you swab his dick for the presence of any of pretty thing Katlyn's bodily essences?

Check their cell phones? Nate's, Katlyn's, the Uncomfortable Voyeur's? No messages about Nate wanting to shoot anything onto or into the chest or any of Katlyn's bodily openings?

You got this, Sarge. Carry on.

Really?






That’s really what happened? Are we sure? How sure are we?

What words did the defendant's partner use? Why is nothing you learned in quotes? Quote somebody! You “learned” that the victim and defendant “were playing with firearms.” Who did you learn that from AND WHO SAID EXACTLY WHAT YOU DONUT MUNCHING MO-RON?! Sorry. Did the partner say words to that effect? The defendant?

Why was the on-duty defendant officer at home in the first place? Why did the off-duty victim officer go to the on-duty defendant officer’s house? What does the defendant's partner say about the house call? Why was he there? Was he on duty too? It's weird, isn't it Sarge, that two of your guy serve-and-protects were off duty at one of their houses when they were supposed to be on duty, like, you know, out on the streets, waiting for a lone female off duty cop to come over? To do what, Sergeant Helmeier?! 

Why do you call it "playing with firearms"? Doesn't this specific kind of play have a name: Russian roulette? Or is it something else when the subject officer points the revolver away and pulls the trigger and the victim officer then points the revolver at the subject officer--who's in full uniform with a vest, do we presume?--and pulls the trigger and the subject officer then points the gun at the victim officer’s UNPROTECTED chest and fucking KILLS HER?! Maybe, I don't know, maybe what you call that is MURDER!

WHO GAVE YOU THAT PRECISE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEQUENCE, Sergeant Hellmeier? Not the partner, right? Since he got “uncomfortable,” sorry, that shouldn’t be in quotes, it’s your SOP to not quote people, the partner told the two players words to the effect of, you shouldn't be playing with guns, you're police officers; he felt, words to the effect of, uncomfortable at the playing; said words to the effect of he didn't want any part of it and LEFT THE ROOM, right?

Boy, Sarge, I have some questions hahahahaha.

Like, was this a scheduled play date of Russian roulette? Like every Tuesday at 10 pm when you're off duty and I'm on duty you come over to my house when I'm on duty for a game of Russian roulette? Did she call or text, "Omw!" Were there any preliminaries to the main event? Like, I don't know, "hide the salami"? Sorry, maybe as a cop you don't know what "hide the salami" means like you don't know, apparently, what Russian roulette means. It means "playing Russian roulette with his dick in her pussy."

More questions sorry!

Is that effective policing to tell police officers that they're police officers? I don't know seems like they'd know that but that's just me.

And, I don't quite understand what you learned from the partner that he didn't want any part of. Like, it doesn't seem to me from your comprehensive narrative that the partner was any part of it to begin with, know what I mean? Like he was just standing there watching them like a voyeur while they were playing with guns and salami; that neither his, the partner's, salami nor his gun were ever in play. Both were holstered. That the manslaughtering weapon was never pointed at him (partner) nor by him. That he was not playing with anything. So basically I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS PART OF TO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF. If you catch my drift.

Who called 9/11 and what was said?

Sounds like you're master of the case, Sarge.

“Only in Miami...”

It now becomes our duty to report for pageviewers worldwide the absurd metereological news,












that in Miami Beach today the high temperature is 65 and the low is 64. 

Six Years Ago This Happened

Body by "Heat Culture."


He toes the rubber...

The windup...

The pitch...

Stee-rike.

A Star is Born.




Like Mike, I wanna be like Mike.

41-41 Forever!

Ira Winderman wrote that before one recent home game Pat Riley walked by and said in Ira's direction "No more trade rumors." Which as one would expect immediately inspired Ira to write a column calling on Riley to make some trades.

Stand Pat is right: It's only been three years (that this team has been together WITHOUT CHANGE). It takes time. Three years is not enough time. Not enough time to "plumb the depths" of this roster. To unearth each middler's winner within. To bring each hidden gem to the surface and polish it and compare it to the "Warriors." Let's stand pat until James Johnson is in his early 40's. Then! we will know whether James is a keeper. Or not.

God must have loved the middle classes he made so many of them.
I love chitlens.


In. The. Worlrlrlrlrld.


Thank you, thank you. A composition after my own heart sung to Barbra Streisand's tune "People." Thank you very much.
Are...The...Stu-pi-dest Pee-ple...

PEE-PLE WHO HAVE CHIL-DREN! (ding ding DING)...

But first be a person who has CHIL-DREN!

No more quiet and peace...

Queers of the year...

They are the...

CHIL-DREN ARE QUEER...

And that is...

One very simple reason...

For one reason...

Are the STOOpidist people
In the worlrlrlrlrd