The target of the Paterno-Sandusky coach search is...a MORMON!

Kalani Sitake is not melanin-deprived however (but don't tell Pee Esse Ew'ers). Sitake was born in Tonga and is the head coach at Bee Why Ew. Of course he played at Be Why Ew and has led the "Cougars" for ten years, his only head coaching position. His overall record is 83-44, .653, which equates to 8 wins in a 12-game schedule. The "Cougs" were 11-1 this season and 11-2 in 2024.