1 May 2014
-Plane to Grand Rapids delayed. Problem with plane arriving from Denver.
-2330 hours: Arrived in Grand Rapids. Rent car.
-2345: Exit sign, Wyoming. Carmen: "Benjamincito, is that the state." "No, honey, the name of a town in Michigan. We're not nearly that far west."
-2350: Exit sign, Ottawa. "Benj..." "No."
2 May 2014
-0005 hours: Arrived in Holland, Michigan. Temperature 48 degrees. Drizzling.
-0030: Succeeded in pulling Carmen out of car to go into Walmart.
-0040: Purchased clothing for Carmen: insulated jacket, heavy pants, hunters socks, wool cap, insulated gloves, peanut butter and bread for dinner.
-0045: Succeeded in pulling Carmen out of Walmart back into car.
-0050: Arrived at hotel.
-0800: ArOse. Dressed. Carmen: neo-Nanook of the North.
-0900: Arrived at Van-something tulip farm.
[Veld. I apologize for any inconvenience.]
-0910: Saw buffaloes at Van-something tulip farm. Saw crocuses. Carmen bought wooden shoes.
-0930: Departed Van-something tulip farm.
-0940: Arrived at Centennial Park, Tulip Time Ground Zero.
-0944: Espied Lone Tulip.
-0945: Lone Tulip photo op.
-0946: Departed Ground Zero.
-0947: Arrived 8th Street.
-1111: Had drink
-Plane to Grand Rapids delayed. Problem with plane arriving from Denver.
-2330 hours: Arrived in Grand Rapids. Rent car.
-2345: Exit sign, Wyoming. Carmen: "Benjamincito, is that the state." "No, honey, the name of a town in Michigan. We're not nearly that far west."
-2350: Exit sign, Ottawa. "Benj..." "No."
2 May 2014
-0005 hours: Arrived in Holland, Michigan. Temperature 48 degrees. Drizzling.
-0030: Succeeded in pulling Carmen out of car to go into Walmart.
-0040: Purchased clothing for Carmen: insulated jacket, heavy pants, hunters socks, wool cap, insulated gloves, peanut butter and bread for dinner.
-0045: Succeeded in pulling Carmen out of Walmart back into car.
-0050: Arrived at hotel.
-0800: ArOse. Dressed. Carmen: neo-Nanook of the North.
-0900: Arrived at Van-something tulip farm.
-0910: Saw buffaloes at Van-something tulip farm. Saw crocuses. Carmen bought wooden shoes.
-0930: Departed Van-something tulip farm.
-0940: Arrived at Centennial Park, Tulip Time Ground Zero.
-0944: Espied Lone Tulip.
-0947: Arrived 8th Street.
-1112: Had second drink.
-1115: Happy.
-1200: Carmen succeeded in pulling me out of bar. Walked out into 8th Street.
-1201: Stepped out of way of oncoming vehicle. Carmen speaking Spanish. Motorist, annoyed: "Excuse me. Could you tell us where the tulips are?" "There ain't no tulips, friend." Wife of motorist gasped. Motorist, driving off, more annoyed: "That is very disappointing." Considered calling domestic violence hotline as prophylactic. Didn't.
-1210: Arrived back at Ground Zero for apres-drink photo op.
-1211: Onlooking Holland residents mortified.
-1212: Departed Ground Zero.
-1245: Arrived at park that had windmill.
-1300: Lecture and tour of windmill.
-1310: Carmen declined fourth floor windmill observation deck: vertigo.
-1320: Descended from windmill.
-1321: Observed locals in period costumes doing stuff.
-1322: Concluded observation of locals in period costumes doing stuff.
-1335: Went to shops in windmill park. Carmen bought fudge.
-1420: Lunch.
-1430: Hotel.
-1431-1705: Read. Book on World War I. Carmen napped. No sex.
-1800: Dinner, drinks, Alpen Rose. Had one, had two "for the road."
-1930: Departed Alpen Rose. Carmen driving.
-1945-2300: Hotel, movie, sleep, no sex.