Leicester stumbled Sunday as reported exclusively here at Public Occurrences. What was not reported here at all was that West Ham tied the match against ten "Foxes," one short of a skulk (Look it up, Pilgrim, that's what a group of foxes is called), and that the missing fox was skulky Jamie Vardy, their best fox.
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Yes, Jamie is very skulky there. You're not allowed to be that skulky toward a referee, nor are you permitted to "simulate" (never heard that brilliant euphemism before), i.e. one is not permitted to simulate being John F. Kennedy in Dallas on November 22, 1963 when one's feets happen to become entangled with a Hammerhead's, i.e. one is not permitted to "dive," and according to one report that is what Jamie did and we quote "launching himself from a high board" end quote, I say you're not permitted to dive, the referee carded Jamie for same and as it was Jamie's second yeller of the match the card changed kellers to red and Jamie's day was officially OVER. Jamie didn't see it that way, as you can see, and skulked his disagreement most skulkily at referee Jon Moss as did a couple of the remaining "Foxes," as did the Fox Fanatics present for the festivities and referee Jon Moss had to be escorted out of the den by a group of Navy SEALS.
Red-carding Jamie (Making of him a "Red Fox," dare we say? We do.) was the proximate cause of Leicester's "stumble" we dare suggest and it also carries with it an automatic suspension for the next match against Swansea also at the Den. At least the "Foxes" will be able to play with a full skulk whoever irreplaceable Jamie's substitute is and that it is believed will be sufficient for foxes to devour "Swans." But one never knows does one?
It will probably end there, the fallout from this unpleasant skulking will probably end with Jamie Vardy's one match suspension against Swansea but not if referee Jon Moss has anything to say about it and he does, Jon Moss does have something to say about it and did say something about it, to the gendarme, who in English soccer are called the "Football Association," Jon Moss reported in his official match report to the FA not only Jamie Vardy's red card but also the sweet nothings Jamie whispered in his ear after splashdown, and the abuse he endured from the devouring lips of other "Foxes," and from the fans, and the escort he felt prudent to receive from the aforementioned SEALS. The gravamen of all that referee Jon Moss reported to the FA is that Leicester City F.C. evinced an "inability to control their players" which sounds like when an American college is charged with a "lack of institutional control" over its sporting scholars, which is a very serious charge against an American college, you can get your dick cut off for that, it is a more substantial charge in Merry Old than red-carding a high-diving fox and the penalty is more substantial. No, Jamie Vardy will not be Bobbitted for enraged skulking at a referee but he may be suspended for an additional match. That against Manchester United at Old Trafford.
That sound you just heard was 30,000 Fox assholes snapping tightly shut.
Tottenham Hotspur are down with all that and today Spurs showed just how pleased they are by trouncing Stoke, tough team to beat, Stoke, at Stoke, tough place to win, Candle Stoke Park, 4-0, to close to within five points of Leicester City F.C. aforementioned, each club having four matches left to play. And that sound you now hear is 2000+ spurred-on Spurs fanatics singing "Leicester City, we're coming for you!" as they did at Stoke today.
Red-carding Jamie (Making of him a "Red Fox," dare we say? We do.) was the proximate cause of Leicester's "stumble" we dare suggest and it also carries with it an automatic suspension for the next match against Swansea also at the Den. At least the "Foxes" will be able to play with a full skulk whoever irreplaceable Jamie's substitute is and that it is believed will be sufficient for foxes to devour "Swans." But one never knows does one?
It will probably end there, the fallout from this unpleasant skulking will probably end with Jamie Vardy's one match suspension against Swansea but not if referee Jon Moss has anything to say about it and he does, Jon Moss does have something to say about it and did say something about it, to the gendarme, who in English soccer are called the "Football Association," Jon Moss reported in his official match report to the FA not only Jamie Vardy's red card but also the sweet nothings Jamie whispered in his ear after splashdown, and the abuse he endured from the devouring lips of other "Foxes," and from the fans, and the escort he felt prudent to receive from the aforementioned SEALS. The gravamen of all that referee Jon Moss reported to the FA is that Leicester City F.C. evinced an "inability to control their players" which sounds like when an American college is charged with a "lack of institutional control" over its sporting scholars, which is a very serious charge against an American college, you can get your dick cut off for that, it is a more substantial charge in Merry Old than red-carding a high-diving fox and the penalty is more substantial. No, Jamie Vardy will not be Bobbitted for enraged skulking at a referee but he may be suspended for an additional match. That against Manchester United at Old Trafford.
That sound you just heard was 30,000 Fox assholes snapping tightly shut.
Tottenham Hotspur are down with all that and today Spurs showed just how pleased they are by trouncing Stoke, tough team to beat, Stoke, at Stoke, tough place to win, Candle Stoke Park, 4-0, to close to within five points of Leicester City F.C. aforementioned, each club having four matches left to play. And that sound you now hear is 2000+ spurred-on Spurs fanatics singing "Leicester City, we're coming for you!" as they did at Stoke today.