J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!
This ugly stepchild of New York City is thriving this season. The New York "Fast Planes" are 3-2 and lead Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay "Packers" 17-3 with 5:43 left in the 3rd quarter.
It was my disagreeable lot to watch highlights of this gangrenous team two weeks in a row, against "Stillers" two weeks ago to check out Kenny Pickett in his first regular season action, and then, to add insult, to watch them the next week against Miami when Teddy Bridgewater got concussed. The "Jets" looked far the better team in both games, to my horror, and their quarterback play, Zach Wilson, was far superior to that of M. Trubisky, Kenny, and Skylar Thompson. Damning by faint praise there, true, but both the "Jets" and Wilson looked objectively good. Which was nauseating.
I did not always loathe the "Jets." Their Super Bowl III victory over Baltimore, in the Orange Bowl in Miami, was one of the seminal sporting moments of my early years. They were a humongous underdog in that game, played in the rebel AFL, underdogs and rebels being two of favorite kinds of things, and they had a charismatic star in "Broadway" Joe Namath who lounged on Miami Beach surrounded by bikini babes and guaranteed a win over the "Colts." The upset was seismic, leading to the firing of "Colts" head coach Don Shula, who came to coach the "Dolphins" as result, and making merger of the NFL and AFL plausible.
I came to loathe the "Jets" through long residence in Miami for the equal but opposite reason that I have a sentimental soft spot for Nebraska football: the fans. Where Nebraska people are the nicest I have ever met "Jets" fans are the distilled quintessence of obnoxious New York people. And there are so many of them living in Miami, snowbirds whose song is fingernails run down a blackboard, transplants metamorphosing into a hideous green platypus. "Jets" fans are like Trump fans, they are indestructible; the worse their heroes are the more loyal they are. Along with their New York cousins the cockroach and the rat "Jets" fans will survive and still be chanting in the post-nuclear apocalypse.
But this year. Well, right now with 7:51 to play in the game the New York football "Jets" are leading the "Pack" 24-10. If they win they will be 4-2 on the season. Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's
J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!
