What’s the Matter With Miami?

 There's not a goddamned thing wrong with Miami, Paulie.

...the population of Miami-Dade County actually fell between 2019 and 2022.

What happened? Part of the answer is that while New York has lost some population, it is not, despite what many non-New Yorkers appear to believe, a dystopian hellhole. [Shithole, I called New York a shithole.] Its homicide rate is only half as high as Miami’s, [We're killing all the New Yorkers who moved here as fast as we can!] while it has other advantages, such as an extensive mass transit system that Miami lacks.[extensive mass transit system for RATS, they have an extensive mass transit system for RATS]

And as the city’s life has returned to normal, it has regained its special status as a place for the very affluent to enjoy their affluence. I know I’m being petty, but I’ve always loved what one asset manager told Bloomberg: “The main problem with moving to Florida is that you have to live in Florida.” [Yes. So just STAY AWAY! Go to Gilgo Beach if you want the beach!]

...Miami’s dreams of becoming the new New York increasingly look like a mirage.

We have DREAMS of becoming the new New York! Miamians, who dreams of turning the Magic City into New Rat City?