It started with this photo discovered by my son and texted to me last night at 11:06 with this message:
Dad, mom, and JP are so fucking cool. Dad with the Marlins jersey in Italy giving me the bunny ears ✌️ What a legend. Lily and I posed, Nicky being Nicky. I love this photo more than I can convey
I responded:
always the goof😂 you're such a young gentleman and lulu farber from cushwoman is posed so prettily. and then the juvenile in the bunch photo bombs it🙄😂you were the victim of child abuse.😂
Me:
jp so scholarly. mom, pretty and proper...speaking of legends, that was the trip of the legendary spit ball shot* that amazed and astonished you young 'un's, wasn't it?
Son:
Dad, that’s a legacy photo of you. We’re either in Italy or Switzerland. This might have been the same day you spitballed a Mediterranean statue on its “pico”.* Either way. You are so damn American in this photo.
“I don’t need a coat. Just give me a marlins jersey.”
Legend
*To the kids in that photo (my daughter was not yet born) the greatest feat they ever witnessed an adult perform was on that trip in Zurich. While walking with them I shot a spit ball through a straw and it hit and stuck to the penis of a statue twelve feet up. They gazed upon me in awe.😂
Son:
Chaotic good at its finest. (which I don't know what that means except it's positive)
Me:
i am SO American in that photo. white cons, baseball jersey, being a goof. think anyone thought, "wonder if that guy is italian?"😂
Son:
I love it. Unapologetically American af.
It was now 11:33 of the morning after and I was getting more tired but I kept going.
Me:
Yes, i was! "the ugly american". no manners, no formality, no other languages😂
defiling ancient statuary...😂
At this point my son started messaging on two channels, he and I privately, and the family group chat of the foregoing. He switched back and forth. This one, 11:40 pm, was between him and me; he had texted the photo above to Lily:
"I sent the photo to Lil and Nick. Lil gave you the praise you deserve 😂 "
Now it was my turn to be astounded:
"OMG, EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID!"
Me, 11:47:
you see the seating arrangements in that photo. the two adults on the right. a noticeable separation between the adults and the childrens' table.😂
-The wedding-
Son, 11:48 pm,
Core memory for the kids. It’s telling that JP and mom are off to one side. You and the kids (who gravitated to you) on the other. It’s clear who the kid favorite adult was. We all remember and revere you. Remind me to tell you what (my cousin), said about you during the recent Minnesota wedding i went to. She cried when she found out you and mom were divorcing decades ago. I had no idea you made such an impact on her.
[She] lost her father a couple months ago. [He] wasn’t really in her life. She looked to you as a father figure. She literally has trauma after your departure from the family. She told me all of this, we were both in tears.
You meant so much to the kids.
We all remember and love you. Your impact on the kids goes miles further than you probably realize.
Legend.
Me, 11:52 pm:
oh. i am very sorry. i liked [him].
i had no idea the divorce had that impact on [his cousin] either! never heard that! she CRIED?! oh my goodness. [my son's wife] told me briefly about [cousin] speaking about me, her "favorite uncle" i think [wife] said. wow, i had no idea. send her my love if you have contact. ...
Son, 11:55:
I will send you her info. She will be so happy to hear from you if you want to reach out.
...
Me, 11:57:
are you serious, she looked to me as a FATHER figure?!?!... i'm really shocked. ... [wife] heard something but a FATHER figure?!😳
Me, 11:58:
apparently my indluence DID go further than i had any wild imagination about!
Son, 11:58:
You were plain and simply her favorite uncle. And losing you to divorce hit her hard. Especially given the fragmented relationship with her own father.
Yes. Your influence did go further than I even know. When she told me this I said “I think my dad thinks the [my ex-wife's family] hates him. He’d be floored to hear this.”
Me, 12:03 a.m.:
i AM floored by it. who else knows?
Son, family channel, 12:08 a.m.:
"The kids gravitated to the most childish mind that the adults offered 😂 "
Me, private channel, 12:09 a.m.:
"It's telling that JP and mom are off to one side". actually, you know why that space is there, LESLIE WAS SITTING NEXT TO JP AND GOT UP TO TAKE THE PHOTO! i DID hang out with you kids rather than the adults on that trip, i was with you kids when i spit-balled the statue pico, the adults were up ahead a few steps. we always had an adult bringing up the rear watching over you kids. all of that is true and of course i DID prefer the company of children to adults but that particular seating arrangement is more artifact.
Me, family channel, responding to "gravitating to childish mind", 12:10:
"THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT!😂"
Son, family channel, 12:10:
"Stop! Smell the petunias”
Sniff
“Let’s continue”
😂
Me, family channel, 12:12:
"oh wee oh, oh-oh, oh (wizard of oz). STOP! Smell the (it wasn't petunias, something with bush. rose bush, something)." the boodee-lily's stuffed animal wedding, do younremember that?
-The second photo-
Me, private channel, 12:15 a.m.:
Another photo from that trip, one of my favorites of just the two of us. maybe the same day!
Son, private channel, 12:16 a.m.:
Omg I don’t remember seeing this. Saved to my photos
Me, private, 12:17 a.m.:
oh hell yeah! i thought i sent it to you long ago. i think les sent it to me. i've used that as my screensaver several times.
Omg I don’t remember seeing this. Saved to my photos
Me, private, 12:17 a.m.:
oh hell yeah! i thought i sent it to you long ago. i think les sent it to me. i've used that as my screensaver several times.
Son, 12:17 a.m.:
You’re right, might be rose buds. Whatever the flower was, it is inconsequential. The moment is what mattered.
Son, private, 12:18 a.m.:
Dang you were so handsome pops.
Me, private, 12:19 a.m.
oh son, thank you. jeez, this is compliment me night!
Son, private, 12:19:
Hahaha you deserve it!
Dang you were so handsome pops.
Me, private, 12:19 a.m.
oh son, thank you. jeez, this is compliment me night!
Son, private, 12:19:
Hahaha you deserve it!
Me, family channel, 12:20:
hanging out with you kids, i always had a tickle in my stomach, like i knew what i could do to get you into something or make you laugh. i was just always on the verge of laughinf myself around kids.
Son, private, 12:21:
Me, private, 12:22:
👏👏
Me, family channel, 12:22:
okay, yinz yinzers, i done took my sleeping pill. this was so touching to my soul. night, night, termites!
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