Mordifying*

Saturday night, a Jewie personage, Mordechai Brafman,

stopped his truck at Pine Tree Drive and 48th Street. Pine Tree Drive is a major north-south artery on Miami Beach and the undersigned knows exactly where this location is. Mordy stopped opposite another car and suddenly started shooting. He fired 17 bullets at the car before speeding off. When stopped by curious gendarme Mordy offered that he "saw two Palestinians and shot and killed both."

Fortunately, Mordy was stupendously incompetent in aiming firearm weaponry and merely struck one person in the car in the shoulder and merely grazed the other.

These individuals were unknown to each other now. Mordy was unacquainted with his targets and they with him. Which brought to the Presbyterian mind of the undersigned how one member of the ancient semitic tribes would recognize two others as members of the opposite tribe at night without any signifying regalia. But what can a Presbyterian mind know of these advanced minds and undoubted exotic signaling and perceptiveness? So the undersigned chastened himself in his inferior speculations.

Be that as it may, and it will be further below, the rude actions of Saturday night suggested a parting of the seas in Mordechai's brain, viz:

Last year, there was vandalism in the form of unconsented removal of Israeli flags strung on the storefront of "Bagel Time", 

which is right acrost the street from the undersigned's condominium abode, an outcropping of Presbyterianism in Little Israel, which name (that of Bagel Time) is precisely accurate self-description of its fare, and which had been patronized daily (best non-Cuban coffee) by this here Presbyterianoid until owners Mel and Eunice sold it and moved to Israel.

On one of the occasions of the flag desecration at Bagel Time, our person of interest Mr. Brafman displayed none of the war-like gestures of Saturday night; rather, Mordechai was Peacenaker, interviewed by Miami electronic television machine station reporters calling for "Unity". Mordy then:

Lay comparison of the two sets of photographs of Mr. Brafman suggest a complete parting of the seas in the body part immediately underneath the cap, an opening of some fissure in the brain, some "decompensation", some worm-like infiltration, some short circuiting of the wiring, which, whatever it may (or may not) be, also altered the perceptual acuitity of the afflicted, viz:

HE SHOT TWO OTHER JEWIES!

Yes, the unthinkable is true. To his mordification, Mr. Brafman had fired on and minorly injured, not two Palestinians, but two of his own semitic tribe. :(

Mordy, outfitted in a protective vest, had his "first appearance" hearing before a judge on two counts of attempted second degree murder yesterday.

*Update. Statement of lawyer for Jewish terrorist Monday:

“At the time of the incident, Mr. Brafman was experiencing a severe mental health emergency. It is believed that his ability to make sound judgments was significantly compromised. We are fully cooperating with law enforcement officials and acknowledge the seriousness of the allegations. We are also committed to working with medical professionals to ensure Mr. Brafman receives appropriate and necessary treatment. Most importantly, we are deeply relieved that the victims are out of the hospital and recovering.”

That's the defense I would go with!