During Thanksgiving 2022 I was told that an ex-brother in law (I had been divorced 20 years and hadn't seen or heard from this person in excess of that time), an avid Trump supporter, had specifically asked if I was going to be present at my daughter's place in Rhode Island along with his nephew, whose existence was a first impression for me, my (second) ex-wife, ex-sister-in-law, and my son. The ex-b-i-l wanted to see me. I was greatly touched at this unexpected attention and, to my family's puzzlement and annoyance, directed particular affection, which I had never felt when I was married, toward him during the visit. We went to a college hockey game, the tickets for which for all I paid, insisted that I pay. I there met his nephew, a confused, slight, bullied 14-year old who had been taken in by my former b-i-l and former s-i-l. I extended my hand and he refused to shake until prodded by his aunt, my former s-i-l. We sat next to each other at the hockey game but he was non-interactive with me.
In 2023 my (second) ex-wife texted me that my ex-brother in law's birthday was whenever it was and gave me his cell phone number. We had never extended birthday greetings before. I texted him affectionate birthday wishes.
He didn't respond.
That same year my ex-sister in law texted my (second) ex-wife, myself, and my son, that the wayward nephew had received certain certificates of merit at school, including one for effort in phys ed. My former s-i-l thanked us as proof that "a little kindness" goes a long way. My (second) ex-wife and I responded with effuse congratulations to the boy. I went a step further. "Is there some small gift I could send him?" She answered with a list of his wants and I ordered a plasma ball or something, it was a plasma something, from Amazon. I asked my form s-i-l for his address and had it sent directly to him.
He didn't respond.
After a few weeks, and concerned that maybe there was some fatality in the conveyance of the gift from Amazon to the boy, I inquired via text of my ex sister-in-law. "Oh yes! He received it."
He never responded.
During Thanksgiving 2023, now in Connecticut, I repeated the kindness I had shown to my ex brother-in-law, to the same annoyance from my family.
In 2023 I got a Twitter account. There is really some brilliant, witty work being done there. One of those brilliances was a young woman who covered Trumpie's legal travails with particular faithfulness. I greatly appreciated her work and one time clicked on the "pay me" button on her feed and gave her $100 and in words expressed by admiration for her and her work.
She never responded.
I also contributed money to the Senate campaign of Ruben Gallego in Arizona, I believe on more than one occasion, after seeing his Twitter account.
I got no response other than more solicitations.
And I contributed money to a Texas Democratic candidate for Congress, a Muslim as I recall.
No response.
Then, just a few weeks ago, I received an invitation to a reelection event for a judge on whom I had extended a particular career protection on an occasion when I supervised her as a lawyer in the 1990's. I was her model, she told me once in court when she was still in the same office as a lawyer and when I had long left for private practice. She had applied for the supervisory position I once held and when asked which of the supervisors she had had that she would most want to emulate, she answered me. I did not even remember the special protection. Had to be reminded of it by her. I was greatly touched. So, when I got the judicial invite, I clicked on the event, and made a donation. At first, $100; then thinking about it, and about her, $500. I contributed $500 to her campaign.
Didn't get a response.
There is a lack of manners in all of these incidents, a want of the most basic courtesy with which we are imbued by our parents and teachers from the earliest age. "Please", "thank you", a note, an acknowledgment, something. Nothing. I got nothing. I deleted my Twitter account partly because of the experiences there. It is not a generational thing. The ages of the people in this post range from 15 to the 20's, to 40's, to 70's. It's strangers and knowns, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and former extended family members, all "raised right". There is a common fatality in the conveyance of thanks in all, a failure even to acknowledge or respond that amounts to rudeness.
