The Catastrophe

Tonight I will be distracted for a couple of hours by the "Heat" game but it will still always be there. Distracted but no escape. I feel it like a marital fight when you know that something fundamental has been broken; like being fired or the death of a loved one. After those events we have the distraction of sleep. But in the morning, shaking the cobwebs, "I have slept well; why do I have thus feeling?," and then it comes to you and you feel it the more intensely for it having violently displaced the distraction. You go on as if it was a normal day. You greet your sig oth, get dressed as before, drive to work. The car actually starts; the sun actually rose; the heavens did not darken. Do they not know? How can this be a normal day when my child has died? You go on, living the waking nightmare.