Sunday, April 26, 2026
Beans (3-1) Blows the Hat off Billy Penn 128-96
I would take Beans against Zollner right now. They're not going to beat Beans.
Neemias Queta
Neemias Queta is 7'0" out of Utah State, fifth year, is starting for Beans today. On the season he is averaging 10.2 and 8.4 per game. He was selected by Excremento in the second round with the 39th pick. Ayo Dusonmu (Illinoise), the hero of Minnehaha's win over Pebbles last night, was selected 38th (Male Cows). Miami did not have a pick in either round in the 2021 draft.
The "Heat" draft with, it seems to me, average results. Missed hugely on Michael Beasley (2nd pick overall 2008) and Justice Winslow (10th pick 2015). They got Bam Adebayo (2017-14) and Tyler Herro (2019-13) at exactly the position they will be drafting in June. The "Heat" has never hit on a second round pick like Queta, Dusonmu, or "the greatest draft steal in NBA history", Nikola Jokic (2014-41).
For twelve straight years the Miami "Heat" have been an average 44-38 during the NBA regular season. They were 43-39 last season.
The current roster, therefore, is nearly identical in terms of talent to those of the previous eleven seasons. It finished 17 games behind the Eastern Conference leader.
It is impossible for a 43-39 roster to make up 17 games and jump eight other teams with better records and rosters through organic growth and better health in one season. With the exception of the Jimmy Butler years, 601 Biscayne has tried that approach for the other seven years. And failed.
The foregoing is apodictic. What follows is not.
It is impossible for one "whale" to make up 17 games and pass eight other better teams in one season.
Pat Riley hasn't landed a "whale" in 16 years, since 2010. And then he landed two, LeBron and Chris Bosh. Riley's most recent whaling excursion was after Giannis Antetokounmpo. He failed. The chalk is that he will try again this summer. I don't believe that Giannis wants to come to Miami, but let's say he does. I don't believe that the "Heat" will make that great leap up the East that incentives whalers after subtracting the players traded to Beer to get Antetokounmpo. Free agency is dead in the NBA. The draft, unless you beat prohibitive odds, is not an option. Whales don't fall to 13th. The only way to harpoon a whale is by trading bait fish. This is not to overvalue Miami's roster! It is dreck. You can get replacement dreck in the G League. This is to say that one whale + 14 minnows and medium-sized fish will not float the boat. Has not, demonstrably, for twelve straight seasons.
I would stair-step. 601 Biscayne won't because 601 Biscayne doesn't stair-step (yes, it's circular). The fan base, so long sold on great-grandfather Riley's whaling nous, will not be happy with the years-long timetable that stair-stepping takes. Whatevs. In the current NBA I would use a minnow as bait to lure a slightly bigger fish, use that fish to get a bigger, keep climbing that ladder step-by-step until you have a roster to which a whale can be attached that can float your boat to Larry O'Brien Island. If you can hook a beautiful blue marlin like Jimmy Butler with your minnows, mazel tov. But if you are so fortunate, don't think you're done. Keep climbing those steps. Jimmy Butler won as many NBA championships as the undersigned idiot blogger has won. 601 Biscayne should have stair-stepped for twelve years rather than hunt Moby Dick. But they didn't. They refused to "sell high", they gladly let some pretty good catches (most recently Caleb Martin, Gabe Vincent, Max Strus) go without compensation! They let their minnows and bigger catches go until they ran themselves to death or broke pack and went elsewhere for nothing.
I have no idea what bigger fish may be lured by this "Heat" roster. No clue if there is another Jimmy Butler swimming out there who can be had for Josh Richardson. But 601 Biscayne should know.
Good morninga
My last post yesterday was on the Ice-Pebbles game and star Anthony Edwards' and Donte DiVincenzo's injuries in the first half. I didn't know the half of it.
Denver is really fucked. Sometimes a team can rally when they lose a star, but last night it wasn't a team effort, it was one dude. Ayo Dosunmu. From AP's report:
When the Minnesota Timberwolves acquired Ayo Dosunmu from Chicago in February, they expected to get a strong defender and savvy offensive player.
I can read his game in my mind: ~10 ppg, long, rangy, handsy defender. Complementary player.
Basketball-reference com: 6' 4" (okay, I missed on long), 14.4 ppg this season, 11.1 career. check. Started 19 games this season between Wind and Ice. Highest accolade was placing NINTH for Sixth Man of Year award this season. Right.
This guy is the reason Denver is really fucked. Went off for FORTY-THREE points last night. In absence of Ant and DiVincenzo. The highest-scoring playoff performance by a reserve in 50 years...AP.
You see what I mean? Denver, you're fucked. It's just not in the cards. Minniehaha has got your number, Gobert has got Jokic's number, Ayo Dosunmu is beating you like a red-headed step-child. This year was not meant to be for you. Enjoy your summer.
Saturday, April 25, 2026
Pebbles Are Dust. FT Dire Wolves (3-1) 112-96
A 30-18 4Q fueled a close game into a route. Rudy Gobert, apparently*, again turned Nikola Jokic into a joker: 8/22 (0/3). G3 (L), 7/26 (2/10); G2 (L), 8/20 (1/7); G1 (W), 11/19 (2/7). That's 39% for a CENTER!
*There is an alternative, not necessarily mutually exclusive, hypo that Jokic's arm or elbow or something is not full 100. He's wearing a sleeve.
Public Occurrences April 25, 2026
"Extraordinarily Brilliant" Florida Man Fires Entire National Science Board
10:18 pm:
No, Dinner was canceled.
HE'S NOT THERE.
Look at him. He's the ONLY ONE not reacting. He's oblivious.
Dinner Resumes: Nobody Hurt by Shooter at White House Correspondents Dinner
Why was he escorting you to the men's room, Shawn?
A Secret Service agent in a tuxedo had escorted me to the men’s room moments before the shooting began in the hall just outside. We heard screaming and what sounded like plates shattering. We darted out of the bathroom. As we turned the corner, other agents had their guns drawn and pointed directly at us. They started screaming at us to run across the hall and get low. Behind them, crouched and huddled against a wall, was a small group of people -- mostly photographers and caterers. And then the cabinet officials were evacuated one by one. Agents in black tie were darting around the cavernous Hilton with machine guns, looking every which way.


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