Friday, January 20, 2017

Every fucking picture he's got that fucking beard. I don't remember the fucking beard...

I guess I am mistaken about the beard. Here's one that I remember republishing. NO! Trump is not the one with the beard and wearing the bear hat and holding the tiger. That is Ramzan. Trump is the gay gentleman on the left. Maybe I didn't notice the beard for all that other fur. Okay. Let me get another picure of Ramzan without the fucking bear on his head to compare with the Bosnian Beast.

Oh! Here's one of the Beast WITH a beard!

Huh? Whadid I tell ya?... Okay, not the best but you see it, right? C'mon. Okay, I have more.

Okay, look, I don't know if this fucking guy is Amish, Jewish, or what, okay? He has a thing-on-his-head fetish, okay? Just look at the facial features.

You know how some people, when cell phones first came out, always had the cell phone up to their ear in public? That's the first cell phone in Chechnya.

This is one of the strangest goddamned sports photographs I've ever seen. 

The Beast is on the left, a fellow member of the tribe is on the right. In between is, what the fuck is his name...Blake...No, not Edwards...Griffin, I think. Different ethnic team. These three dopes are seemingly fighting for a rebound, but they're all smiling...Is that studio posed? But I see indicia of an arena. A light. Some blurry people. Weird. Anyway, that photo is for the smile. Compare with Ramzan:

Arright, I think I've fucking made my point. One more set.

Okay? Yeah, the defense rests and moves for a directed verdict. Case closed. You're welcome.
That's him! At the bottom...No, the bottom RIGHT. NEXT to the other buffoon under Google search term "Putin's crony." What is that guy's name?...Ramzan Kadyrov, leader of Chechnya. I knew it was one of thise coubtries Putin invaded, there are so many though. Okay, now I'm gonna Google Ramzan Kadyrov because that is the first picture of Ramzan Kadyrov I've ever seen that makes him appear ethnic Amish and prove to you that he and the the Bosnian Beast look alike.
Man, he looks familiar. Did I write about him previously? Neither the name nor...NO! He reminds me of another guy I wrote about, one of Putin's thugs in, like, Georgia, leader of Georgia, president or fucking Chief Beast or whatever, real buffoon, wrestled bears, kneecapped people, know who I mean? Une momento por favor...

Jusuf Nurkic

Who the hell is Jusuf Nurkik?

4. Jusuf Nurkic, turnover machine

It's not happening right now for the other half of the (mostly) dead Jurkic pairing. With Kenneth Fariedrejuvenated, Nurkic is hurting for playing time. Perhaps the main reason: his hideous turnover rate.
The Bosnian Beast has coughed it up on 20 percent of the possessions he has finished with a shot, drawn foul, or turnover -- a gargantuan number for a big man. Only 10 guys 6-foot-10 or taller have ever tossed away so many possessions while hoarding as large a share of offense as Nurkic.

No! The "Bosnian Beast"?!?!?! Ho Ho, Ho Ho Ho. That is one of the best nicknames I've ever heard! Up there with the "Bayonne Bleeder."
A lot of these gaffes are just careless. Nurkic is huge, and bowls over defenders in the post -- putting him at high risk for charging calls. He has slippery hands. He loves flicking fancy one-handed passes to cutters, but he often misfires or hits their legs.
He also loves hitting people. Sometimes he backs into a post-up with such force, the collision jars the ball loose.
Nurkic should be an efficient player. He's shooting 51 percent, he's a good passer, and he can bulldoze to the rim almost whenever he wants. But coaches won't trust him until he buttons up.
Ells and Gees: Jusuf Nurkic, the BOSNIAN BEAST!
Big match for the Angels tomorrow, BIG match, biggest of the year so far. The second-place Hotsie-Totsies come to Manchester to play fifth-place City, who are two points out of the final Champions League qualifying slot, occupied, of course, by the Arse.

City's last two matches have been a 5-0 mauling of the Hammerheads at Land Hammerhead stadium and an embarrassing 4-0 mauling by Everton at wherever Everton is.

BOAT: Popovich COAT

£, the best short pants basketball player of all time says San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich is the best coach of all time.

"To be able to do what he's done where the basketball has changed so much and he's been able to have a growth mindset and change with the game [is impressive]," James said. "We went from a league where it was inside out, where every time you came down it was throw it to the big, and then it goes to every time down pick-and-roll, and then it goes to every time down shoot a 3.

"Pop has been able to adjust every single time and still, for some odd reason, keep those guys under the radar. I don't understand it."

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

My Secretary Vinnie

Leah McGrath Goodman's 2011 book, The Asylum: The Renegades Who Hijacked the World's Oil Market, describes Viola and his temperament. Goodman wrote Viola "had a nasty temper, but [predecessor chairman Lou] Guttman says he didn’t lose control of his emotions easily" 


and that "beneath the spit and polish he was still a tough guy from Brooklyn." In the book, Lou Guttman, the previous chairman at the New York Mercantile Exchange, said Viola "exuded leadership. His personality was amazing. He drew people in. He was a phenomenal speaker. Even if he didn’t know what he was talking about, he sounded like he knew what he was saying. He was an astute businessman and an extreme opportunist."

He's perfect.

There is one other curious fact about Vinnie "Knuckles" in the Wikipedia:

He received his juris doctor degree from New York Law School but did not complete the bar exam.[7]

That makes it sound something like, "I didn't come back the second day, I had to get back to hijacking the world's oil market, see?" Except Bar Exams don't work that way. There's pass and there's fail. If you don't come back the second day, you FAIL, see?

Not to quibble. He sounds perfect, like he and Trump could be cousins.

"Secretary of War Nominee, Vincent Viola, Panthers Owner Accused of Punching Worker at Racetrack"-Sun Sentinel

Premier Trump has added a Secretary of War to the Cabinet? No. Worthy Sun-Sentinal must have a guy from the '40's writing their headlines.

But, I quibble. It's the position of Secretary of the Army, it's the Florida Panthers ice hockey team and, it was just revealed, Vinnie punched the guy (in the face), giving him "a swollen bloody lip," Vinnie revealed it to incoming administration people who, of course, did not quibble over it.


Where inspiration meets opportunity, there you will find Genius.

In the matter of assholes, at the intersection of Inspiration Street and Opportunity Avenue is Asshole Circle and how perfect a symbol for this popular series, the gangrenous, puckered oval that is the University of Oregon's sports logo.


Continuing our popular series "Assholes," I didn't add Phil Jackson earlier because I thought I had previously, informally. We formalize the addition now.

-Phil Jackson.
-Stephen A. Smith. Even his middle initial shows he belongs.
-Jerry Jones.
-Dan Gilbert. See Phil Jackson.

I can't go back and retroactively add every frigging asshole, this is a unique, new series, to gather all assholes under one growing, evolving, spawning, spewing rubric, so I will adopt the criterion that if one was an asshole at another time, you, Weili Ye, one has to demonstrate asshole-worthiness contempory with this popular series genesis. Therefore, Dan Gilbert is off the list but on the bubble. We here at Asshole Watch will be closely following Gilbert. We end this installment with,

-Donald J. Trump.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Both Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms — two ardent conservative Republicans from South Carolina and North Carolina, respectively — requested in their wills that Biden give a eulogy at their funerals.

Jew know that? I didn't know that. I don't know what to think of that. Right now I'm too shocked to think.

University of Guantanamo

My God. Three University of Oregon tackle football players were hospitalized as a consequence of the intense workouts of new head coach Willie Taggart. According to The Oregonian story of yesterday, the three players had been hospitalized since "late last week." One player's mother told the paper that her son had been diagnosed with "rhabdomyolysis, a syndrome in which soft muscle tissue is broken down with 'leakage into the blood stream of muscle contents,' according to the NCAA medical handbook."

What the heck were these workouts?

"Players this week were required to finish the same workouts, which were described by multiple sources as akin to military basic training, with one said to include up to an hour of continuous push-ups and up-downs."

I don't know what an "up-down" is but I know what a push-up is and there is no human being on the planet who can do an hour's worth of continuous push-ups. 

Fill 'er Up

"Did Trump really come and meet with Moscow prostitutes? Firstly he is an adult, and secondly he is a person who for many years has organized a beauty pageant, socialized with the most beautiful women in the world. It is hard to believe that he ran to a hotel to meet with our girls of a low social class, although they are the best in the world,"-Vladimir Putin, 2017.

"Kazakhstan's prostitutes cleanest in the region, except of course for Turkmenistan's."-Borat, 2006

“There are no women forced to sell themselves to a man, to a foreigner, to a tourist. Those who do so do it on their own, voluntarily, and without any need for it. We can say that they are highly educated hookers and quite healthy, because we in the country with the lowest numbers of AIDS cases… Therefore, there is truly no prostitution healthier that Cuba’s."-Fidel Castro, 1992.

Monday, January 16, 2017

This is an amazing item  I'll let the ebayer's description speak for itself:

This interesting stampless folded letter was postmarked in Philadelphia on May 13, 1837. The letter is addressed to "Mary B. Magill, Warrenton VA" and was written by her son Bruckner Thurston Magill. There is a note written on the top of the letter "Picked up by Lieut. G.N.Bless April, 1862 with the point of his saber, while riding in a field near Warrenton, VA." The letter is dated "Philadelphia May 12th 1837" and what makes it interesting is it was written twentyfive years before it was found in a field by Lieutenant Bless. The letter is primarily about the "Panic of 1837" and Magill is worried about the Virginia banks failing. Magill refers to "General Jackson" twice in the letter and blames Jackson for the poor financial state of the country. The letter is signed "B.Thurston Magill."

Each page of this three page letter measures approx. 8 x 10 inches. There are some small tears on the first page (apparently where it was stuck by Lieutenant Bless's saber) otherwise very good condition!
This is an eloquent letter written by an unusually well-educated man for the times, a, as best as I can make it out, "Mr. A. Gorman," of Smithfield, Pennsylvania, January 10, 1862 to a United States Civil War soldier. It is available on ebay here

My Esteemed Friend:

Your favor was received some days since and this evening is the first that has found me with time to answer it.............If I say anything intended to give bouyancy to your spirits and steady your nerves for the fearful conflict; it would be this. Prepare to live and die soldiers soldiers for Jesus as well as soldiers for your country and knowing that God is on your side go on and on till secession is banished from our shoes and we are saved from the impending.....that so closely awaits us. And if you die, die nobly and like one bouyed above the fear of death. But no. Why talk I thus! this must not be. This can not be. You will return. And when the clashing of arms is no longer heard. The name of rebel no longer echoed in our ears. And the British Lyon no longer feared. And instead of the present confusion all will be peaceful as when "The morning stars first sang together." Then will you rejoice that you endured hardships and braved dangers to perpetuate our Liberties............(signature)
Bravo seems to carry all the physical presence of a half-remembered dream.

Good writin' there by Ian Macintosh of ESPNFC, unfortunately on the subject of City goalkeeper Claudio No Bravo.

Got some experience with the "physical presence" of dreams, got I.

Still Kickin'! Stillers Beat Chiefs, Get New England

A kick six! The "Big Three" was supplanted by Big Foot. Embarrassing. Gonna need all the foots and hands and all them other things they got against the "Patriots."
God bless Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and all he lived and died for in these terrible times.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

How could you follow Green Bay-Dallas? Better than this: On five field goals Pittsburgh leads Kansas City 15-7, ~two minutes left in the third quarter. Ooh boy, time for bed. Nite, bedbugs.
Look at this play: That's a 36 yard pass. Aaron Rodgers makes it with a flip of his wrist. And look at the catch. The receiver, Jared Cook, made sure both feet were in bounds. I don't know what there was to review, that could not be any clearer. Anyway, what a play and what a devastating blow for Dallas. Oh gosh. 
And the "Packers" win it at the death 34-31. Prescott brought D back to tie at 31 and then, with just thirtysomething seconds to go Aaron Rodgers took over, had third down and forever in his own territory and completed a long pass down to the D 32. The play was reviewed on video by the zebras and upheld. The Green Bay kicker knocked it through with three seconds left. WHAT A GAME!
Seems like a great game going on right now, actually just about over, in Dallas. Green Bay at. Two great quarterbacks, Aaron Rodgers and the young guy, a rookie, Dak Prescott, and Prescott brought D back from 21-3 to tie. The "Packers" have just taken the lead back, 31-28, with a buck thirty left. Great game.
Oh. The Japanese occupied Thailand during World War II and then American soldiers used Thailand as a "rest and recreation" stop during the Vietnam War.

That's awful, man.
In Thailand there are "blow job bars." If you google that, which I done did, there's a spiffy one called Dr. BJ's Salon.

Not spiffy at all! That looks like a regular brothel. The image on the first page of Google looked like a Starbuck's.

What's Thailand's deal with sex? It really is anything goes just about, isn't it? How the fuck did it get that way?

"'Fellatio cafe' where customers receive oral sex while they drink their (£40) coffee to be opened in Geneva"-Daily Mail

The outlet, set to be up and running in Geneva by the end of the year, would see men ordering a coffee before their choosing their prostitute on an iPad.

Customers would pay more than £40 for the drink and sex act, according to the firm Facegirl, which is modelling the idea on similar establishments in Thailand.

There are similar establishments in Thailand--Thailand's an "anything goes" kinda country, right. But Switzerland. I've been to Geneva. Pretty strait-laced burg, Geneva seemed to me. Cleaner than heck. Made myself a legend with the under-10 set when I shot a spitball at a statue of a cherub and hit it right on the pico. Statue was about 20 feet up. Good shot. Kids still talk about that. 

"London to get coffee and fellatio cafe"-The Independent

Come again?
Are they playing hockey in Kansas City? Forgot all about that. Forgot about the Angels, forgot about this big hockey match. Was moved from 8:30 to 1:30 for ice. Has to be on. Une momento por favor...No? They moved it from 1:30 to 8:30? I'm dyslexic in addition to being a retard, I guess.
See that little thing to the left of the numbers? That's the eye icon I was talking about. Didn't used to be there. Swine.

Everton 4 Manchester City 0

Oh my God. This season is going sideways. The Angels are now fifth in the table, out of the Champions League slots. It was manager Pep Guardiola's most one-sided defeat in any league match he has managed anywhere. 
Hi. Get up. Rise. Shine optional.
Dudes, dudettes, this is bad. Their logo and one of their players got BOOED. Which logo? In three days in L.A. they've had three logos:


I never liked that. AH-HEM!



It gets worse. The "Rams" play their home games in the L.A. Coliseum, seating capacity like 90,000; they drew like 82,000 this past, their first, year. Know where the "Chargers" gonna play? In the frigging "Cathedral of American SOCCER," the frigging "Home Depot Center," home to the Los Angeles "Galaxy" of "Major" (in inverted commas) League Soccer, which is not even located in frigging Los Angeles, it's in frigging someplace called "Carson." Know what the capacity of said "Cathedral" is?: frigging 27,000. 27,000! Wonder if they'll fill it.

Man...Woman, this is a half-assed, minor league move all around. There's nothin' that says minor league like "Major League Soccer." This is a DEBACLE, that's what it is, it's a frigging DEBACLE. The Los Angeles "Debacles."

Saturday, January 14, 2017


LOS ANGELES -- The Chargers' first public presentation in their new city didn't go over so well Saturday.
During their game with the Lakers, the Clippers showed the new Los Angeles Chargers logo on the video screen and the Staples Center crowd promptly booed.
After a few seconds, the screen cut to Chargers tight end Jeff Cumberland, who briefly waved but then was booed.

The 133rd Pennsylvania Regiment at Fredericksburg. III*

Since last I checked--Sheesh, I bet about a year ago.--the little regiment that Time forgot, the 133rd Pennsylvania, has its own Wikipedia page.

133rd Pennsylvania Infantry

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

*Update. There were so many posts here on this subject that I began grouping them so that I could keep track. Then the group posts became so long that they took up the entire first page of this blog. So I broke up the groups and designated them by roman numerals. So, this will start the third "installment." 


The Chiefs-Steelers divisional round game this weekend has been pushed back from 1:05 p.m. EST to 8:20 p.m. EST, the normal time slot for Sunday night games, due to an incoming ice storm.
NICE! I think I'd like to live in Kansas City.

Eyes on the Prize

"Up and down the roster, literally every player [is available to trade.]. Literally no one is untouchable, not even Hassan Whiteside, by a long shot."
-Zach Lowe, ESPN, on the Miami "Heat."

THAT is good. Because, literally, there is not one player on the "Heat" roster who could start for a championship team. Not one. Not even Whiteside. Not Justice Winslow. 

And that is what it is about in Miami: championships. You can't build a championship team out of non-championship level players. That should draw a big ol' DUH, but teams do that. The pre-Pat Riley "Heat" did that: Rony Seikaly, Kevin Edwards, Grant Long--the first instantiation of the "Heat" was built around those players, whom they drafted. They were terrible. Miami management at the time stuck with them and they really did improve!  Rony Seikaly became a Most Improved Player of the Year, Grant Long was a workhorse in the league for a decade. But jeezie-peezie, they were still Rony Seikaly, Kevin Edwards and Grant Long! They did not improve into Magic, Kareem, and Worthy, nor Michael, Scottie, and Worm. They improved all the way from 15-67 to 42-40. 42 and forty, okay? THAT WAS IT! Got gored by those "Bulls," who toyed with them, in the 'Loffs. 

Pat Riley is not going to channel Lewis Schaffel and Billy Cunningham. That is why this entire roster is for sale. If he could trade all twelve of them and get ONE Big Three-like personage he would win the Nobel Prize in basketball team building. He can't do that. But, he can trade up by offering quantity and the little quality there is (Whiteside, Drajic), up a couple of levels, still a couple below one Big Three-dom but closer. And then he can use that one and wrap him in flotsam and jetsom and go up one more level. He can try free agency again and perhaps lure "not one, not two" Big Threes. 

He is going to move quickly. He has to. There is a culture of losing that sets in on a rebuilding team, just look at Cleveland LBJ's first season back, it has not set in on this "Heat" team yet, but it will if Riley doesn't move fast. He knows that and he will. This is good.

Friday, January 13, 2017


Oh. Dr. Mo is so dear to me. Years ago, one of the first emails I got from him, I think, he wrote about a post he had seen here on 凌迟; 凌遲, death by slicing. It was one of the posts that just about drove me mad. I didn't know Weimin well then and didn't know how he expressed himself and so that email made a deep impression upon me because it fairly shrieked with anguish. "Where did you find those pictures!," it began something like that. Weimin's pain just crackled across cyberspace.

So, Weimin and I were emailing again this week-Ah! I sent him the link to Ian Johnson's article and I appended a forewarning, "This is not for the faint of heart." I remembered his email on 凌迟; 凌遲 and he remembered. He recalled,

I can never forget the eyes in the photo, the eyes of the victim and the eyes of the executioner. The victim's horrified eyes indicate he is about to faint like a little rat in the mouth of a snake. The executioner's eyes seem to search the victim's body in order to find the best spot to begin the slicing with a butcher's precision. His whole mind seems to be totally focused on how to do a neat job and it doesn't make a difference to him whether it is a human body or a pig. I was frozen by the sight.

That is a POWERFUL paragraph, do you not feel it? Can you not see the photograph, just from that description? That is brilliant writing. It reminds me of Joseph Conrad in Heart of Darkness. It is not. That is my friend, Weimin.

Eyes on Publocc

NOW what? Now there's an eye icon, like the CBS eye, next to every goddamned post--published, scheduled, and drafts. So, it can't be a nifty new Blogger feature to mean, like, "Your post was read." Is it a Chinese eye? No.

Steve Pederson

Management and Marketing Consultant, Previously Athletic Director at Pittsburgh and Nebraska

Greater New York City Area

Management Consulting

After leading one of the most amazing turnarounds in college athletics history, Steve Pederson has established himself as a leader with the clear vision and the unique strategic thinking necessary to move an organization to a championship level.

When Pederson took the reigns as Athletic Director at the University of Pittsburgh in 1996, few could have imagined what would take place over the next two decades. At that time, Pederson took charge of an athletic department that was perhaps at its lowest end both competitively and from an infrastructure standpoint.

Notable among the accomplishments during Pederson’s tenure was an amazing growth in the Pitt Athletic Department budget from $14 million to nearly $70 million. Fund raising rose from $900,000 to over $8.5 million annually. Corporate sponsorships, including the multi-million dollar agreement with footwear giant NIKE, rose from a mere $200,000 to $7.2 million annually. The school’s television revenue skyrocketed from $1.8 million to over $20 million annually. Equally impressive were the season ticket attendance number where football rose from 7,300 to 40,000 annually and basketball went from 3,700 season tickets to 12,500 (a sold out arena) and a waiting list of 15,000. Under his leadership, Pitt experienced $500 million in facility construction for its athletic teams without incurring any additional debt.

Led by Pederson, the invitation to join the prestigious Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC), reinforced Pitt’s stature in the world of intercollegiate athletics and poised the Pittsburgh for greater heights in the future. In fact, the Panthers athletic fortunes elevated so dramatically on and off the field it prompted a Pittsburgh newspaper to dub Pitt “Comeback U.”

"Gabriel Jesus Not Eligible for City Debut"