Sunday, April 26, 2026

First sentence in write-up on 7'6"ers-Beans:

By AP
Apr 26, 2026, 09:35 pm

PHILADELPHIA -- — Payton Pritchard hit six of Boston’s 24 3-pointers and scored 32 points...

Payton Pritchard 2025/26 (Beans, only team he has played for): 17, 3.9, 5.2 ppg, 46.4%.

Payton Pritchard: 6'1", 2020-26th pick, Beans.

Precious Achiuwa 2025/26 (Sacramento, his 4th team): 10.1 (career high), 6.7, 1.4 ppg, 52.8%. 

Precious Achiuwa: 6'8", 2020-20th pick, Miami.

Pat Riley historically preferred veteran players to drafted rookies. Hell, he prefers the G League as a pipeline! Riley recently has seemed to place more value on draft picks than loose change, but I surmise that decades of neglect has withered the org.'s collegiate talent-spotting. 

Beans (3-1) Blows the Hat off Billy Penn 128-96

I would take Beans against Zollner right now. They're not going to beat Beans.

HT Phila 38 Beans 56

FT Portlandia 93 Alamo 114 (3-1)

Alamo outshot "Trailblazers" by 38 points in 2nd half.😂

19-40, 8:50 2Q, Phila. Full Revolutionary Time Out

Well, that got out of hand quickly...Phila. 18 Beans 34, end 1Q

Neemias Queta

Neemias Queta is 7'0" out of Utah State, fifth year, is starting for Beans today. On the season he is averaging 10.2 and 8.4 per game. He was selected by Excremento in the second round with the 39th pick. Ayo Dusonmu (Illinoise), the hero of Minnehaha's win over Pebbles last night, was selected 38th (Male Cows). Miami did not have a pick in either round in the 2021 draft.

The "Heat" draft with, it seems to me, average results. Missed hugely on Michael Beasley (2nd pick overall 2008) and Justice Winslow (10th pick 2015). They got Bam Adebayo (2017-14) and Tyler Herro (2019-13) at exactly the position they will be drafting in June. The "Heat" has never hit on a second round pick like Queta, Dusonmu, or "the greatest draft steal in NBA history", Nikola Jokic (2014-41).

Joel Embiid BAACKK! Has all eight Phila. points. 8-9 Beans, 6:35 1Q

Hoo doggie! HT Portlandia 58 Hotspurs (2-1) 41

Whale, Ontario State held serve. FT 93-89 Sensitive City. Series 2-2.

For twelve straight years the Miami "Heat" have been an average 44-38 during the NBA regular season. They were 43-39 last season. 

The current roster, therefore, is nearly identical in terms of talent to those of the previous eleven seasons. It finished 17 games behind the Eastern Conference leader. 

It is impossible for a 43-39 roster to make up 17 games and jump eight other teams with better records and rosters through organic growth and better health in one season. With the exception of the Jimmy Butler years, 601 Biscayne has tried that approach for the other seven years. And failed.

The foregoing is apodictic. What follows is not.

It is impossible for one "whale" to make up 17 games and pass eight other better teams in one season.

Pat Riley hasn't landed a "whale" in 16 years, since 2010. And then he landed two, LeBron and Chris Bosh. Riley's most recent whaling excursion was after Giannis Antetokounmpo. He failed. The chalk is that he will try again this summer. I don't believe that Giannis wants to come to Miami, but let's say he does. I don't believe that the "Heat" will make that great leap up the East that incentives whalers after subtracting the players traded to Beer to get Antetokounmpo. Free agency is dead in the NBA. The draft, unless you beat prohibitive odds, is not an option. Whales don't fall to 13th. The only way to harpoon a whale is by trading bait fish. This is not to overvalue Miami's roster! It is dreck. You can get replacement dreck in the G League. This is to say that one whale + 14 minnows and medium-sized fish will not float the boat. Has not, demonstrably, for twelve straight seasons.

I would stair-step. 601 Biscayne won't because 601 Biscayne doesn't stair-step (yes, it's circular). The fan base, so long sold on great-grandfather Riley's whaling nous, will not be happy with the years-long timetable that stair-stepping takes. Whatevs. In the current NBA I would use a minnow as bait to lure a slightly bigger fish, use that fish to get a bigger, keep climbing that ladder step-by-step until you have a roster to which a whale can be attached that can float your boat to Larry O'Brien Island. If you can hook a beautiful blue marlin like Jimmy Butler with your minnows, mazel tov. But if you are so fortunate, don't think you're done. Keep climbing those steps. Jimmy Butler won as many NBA championships as the undersigned idiot blogger has won. 601 Biscayne should have stair-stepped for twelve years rather than hunt Moby Dick. But they didn't. They refused to "sell high", they gladly let some pretty good catches (most recently Caleb Martin, Gabe Vincent, Max Strus) go without compensation! They let their minnows and bigger catches go until they ran themselves to death or broke pack and went elsewhere for nothing.

I have no idea what bigger fish may be lured by this "Heat" roster. No clue if there is another Jimmy Butler swimming out there who can be had for Josh Richardson. But 601 Biscayne should know.

Anthony Edwards Out "Multiple Weeks" (hyperextended knee)

Good morninga

My last post yesterday was on the Ice-Pebbles game and star Anthony Edwards' and Donte DiVincenzo's injuries in the first half. I didn't know the half of it.

Denver is really fucked. Sometimes a team can rally when they lose a star, but last night it wasn't a team effort, it was one dude. Ayo Dosunmu. From AP's report:

When the Minnesota Timberwolves acquired Ayo Dosunmu from Chicago in February, they expected to get a strong defender and savvy offensive player. 

I can read his game in my mind: ~10 ppg, long, rangy, handsy defender. Complementary player. 

Basketball-reference com: 6' 4" (okay, I missed on long), 14.4 ppg this season, 11.1 career. check. Started 19 games this season between Wind and Ice. Highest accolade was placing NINTH for Sixth Man of Year award this season. Right.

This guy is the reason Denver is really fucked. Went off for FORTY-THREE points last night. In absence of Ant and DiVincenzo. The highest-scoring playoff performance by a reserve in 50 years...AP.

You see what I mean? Denver, you're fucked. It's just not in the cards. Minniehaha has got your number, Gobert has got Jokic's number, Ayo Dosunmu is beating you like a red-headed step-child. This year was not meant to be for you. Enjoy your summer.



Saturday, April 25, 2026

Anthony Edwards and Donte DeVincenzo were hurt in the 1H and didn't return

Pebbles Are Dust. FT Dire Wolves (3-1) 112-96

A 30-18 4Q fueled a close game into a route. Rudy Gobert, apparently*, again turned Nikola Jokic into a joker: 8/22 (0/3). G3 (L), 7/26 (2/10); G2 (L), 8/20 (1/7); G1 (W), 11/19 (2/7). That's 39% for a CENTER!

*There is an alternative, not necessarily mutually exclusive, hypo that Jokic's arm or elbow or something is not full 100. He's wearing a sleeve.

Pebbles Dire in Ice vs Wolves

Minn. (2-1) 82-78, end 3Q.

Public Occurrences April 25, 2026

"Extraordinarily Brilliant" Florida Man Fires Entire National Science Board


10:18 pm:

No, Dinner was canceled. 

HE'S NOT THERE.

Look at him. He's the ONLY ONE not reacting. He's oblivious.





9:36 pm:

Dinner Resumes: Nobody Hurt by Shooter at White House Correspondents Dinner

Why was he escorting you to the men's room, Shawn?



Reporting from the Washington Hilton




A Secret Service agent in a tuxedo had escorted me to the men’s room moments before the shooting began in the hall just outside. We heard screaming and what sounded like plates shattering. We darted out of the bathroom. As we turned the corner, other agents had their guns drawn and pointed directly at us. They started screaming at us to run across the hall and get low. Behind them, crouched and huddled against a wall, was a small group of people -- mostly photographers and caterers. And then the cabinet officials were evacuated one by one. Agents in black tie were darting around the cavernous Hilton with machine guns, looking every which way.

Mamdani City (2-2) Birders Shoot Down Majestic Soaring Hawks 114-98

Hey...

Disney beat Zollner again today. 113-105 the final in the Magic Kingdom. They lead the series 2-1.

...Man, if Zollner goes splat...

Чорнобиль (Chornobyl) +40 years

At 1:23 am April 26, 1986 the first explosion occurred in Reactor Unit 4 at the ChNPP (Chornobyl Nuclear Power Plant). A second explosion that blew off the roof occurred immediately thereafter. A reactive core fire caused a meltdown spreading radiation into the atmosphere that spread across the Soviet Union and into Europe. A total of only 60 people were killed immediately and in the decades that followed. It was the worst nuclear accident in history.

5,000,000

Pageviews since June, 2010. Five months to the day since hitting 4M. As I have done with each of these milestones: Followers, readers, you humble an old man and bring him joy.🫶 Thank you so much.

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"Oh look, Bob, BURIAL insurance! I'm so happy I'm having my first organism in 40 years! OH!"

Good morning beautiful chickens, good morning TACO.

Friday, April 24, 2026

Houston, you have a "Lakers" problem

La-La Bron-Bron made it three-zip over the KD-less Rockettes in H-Town tonight. H has a very talented team, eapecially (obviously) with Kevin Durant, and one of the best, most respected coaches in the game in Ime Udoka. 

La-La is very good too, especially when they have Luk-Luk, whom they did not tonight, and they have...JJ Redick as coach. Hmm. "Lakers" should not be winning this series 3-0.

Why have Pigeons become Majestic Soaring Hawks?

They got rid of Trae Young. They have good players. This season's Most Improved Player is Nickeil Alexander-Walker. He plays for the "Hawks." Last season's Most Improved Player was Dyson Daniels. He also played for the "Hawks." It's the first time in the forty-year history of the award that back-to-back winners have been from the same team.


"Dad, all I ask is that you give me knuckle sandwiches whenever I want, that you be a passive, however unwanted, cum target one week out of every four, and that you get me key lime pie every friday."

The undersigned is soo pussy-cat whipped.