Thursday, November 16, 2017


iMessage is faster.
Pitt beat Cal-Santa Barbara so that's good. First win of the season. They previously lost to height-challenged Navy and that game was played on land...Then they lost to "Montana." Which there are more bears in Montana than peoplez.  Now they beat a team named after a girl-saint...I don't know maybe she's from Mexico too. Girls can play basketball!...I don't know about Mexican girls. Probably. Pitt is playing the "differently-abled." Maybe they have Gallaudet coming up...Some college for the blind...Wheelchair U, maybe they've got a game scheduled against paraplegics...Probably not...How about playing Saint Peter's, a boy-saint? Saint Louis. Saint LeBron that would be a good one.
The Miami "Heats" are 6-8. 

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

"Johnny loves you. Whenever we go over to Amy's house Johnny always asks, 'Is Ben going to be there?' When I tell him no he says, 'I'm not going.' And he doesn't!"
"You are zo hanzum."
              -Guy working at a Chinese restaurant.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The new College Football Playoff rankings are out. In order:

1. Alabama
2. Clemson
3. Miami
4. Oklahoma

Those are the four teams that will struggle to grab the Vagina Trophy at season's end.

*Coup D'etat Underway in Zimbabwe

Lorried troops entering the capital of Harare, explosions heard, seizure of state television: If it looks like a coup and sounds like a coup...Ninety-three year old top banana Robert Mugabe in the banana republic fired his vice banana and accused the head of the military of treason (Note to Trump). And Mugabe has not been heard from.

*Updated: MAYBE NOT! This from AFP:

#BREAKING Zimbabwe military officers deny coup in state TV address

siddhartha mitter

I don't know what's happening in Zimbabwe but there's a very coup-like speech getting broadcast right now on Radio Zimbabwe:
9:00 on Nov. 14, 2017

Friend in #Zimbabwe: "The army is now on state television. Chiwenga [head of the armed forces] has taken over." Brace yourselves, folks.

But maybe not!

siddhartha mitter

Replying to @johnedwinmason
Doesn't sound like a pure coup. Something more ambiguous...

9:03 PM · Nov 14, 2017

But maybe!


9:07 PM · Nov 14, 2017

#Zimbabwe Military now in charge, say they are targeting criminals around Mugabe but Mugabe and family are safe.

zimbabwe coup now seems to be genuine. Just called by a contact there. Generals are on the TV. Sounds of gunshots from neighbourhood where Mugabe lives.

HELD: By a preponderance of evidence edging toward beyond a reasonable doubt there is a coup d'etat underway in Zimbabe

Monday, November 13, 2017

Scholarly Short Pants Basketball

Pitt 62 at Navy 71

Montana 82 at Pitt 78

Sex unlikely to cause cardiac arrest, study finds


Sunday, November 12, 2017

I have had two interactions with Nebraska people. The first was in 1976 or so. I took the first unfortunate ex-Mrs. Harris on a surprise birthday trip to Windows on the World. As we walked up to the entrance to the World Trade Center a couple who were gazing up the structure awestruck stopped us. "We're from Nebraska," the man said to us humbly, sincerely, endearingly.

The second was on January 2, 1984. On the spur of the moment I decided to go to the Orange Bowl game. I got the only ticket I could get on the spur of the moment, far up in the end zone opposite the scoreboard. Miami was playing Nebraska for the national championship. My seat was next to a big beefy Nebraska fan. I was rooting for Miami and I root hard. On Nebraska's first offensive play, I think the first play of the game, Heisman Trophy winner Mike Rozier ran the football. Miami was so outsized in that game that I honestly half-thought they wouldn't be able to tackle Nebraska the whole game. When they did tackle Rozier on that first play I and many other doubters were on our feet cheering lustily. When I sat back down my new Nebraska friend said, "Nine yards. We'll take that all night." Yep! Guess I would too, the idiot thought to himself.

When the fumblerooski play happened I hadn't the foggiest idea wtf. "What was that?" I asked my friend. "Fumblerooski!" he answered immediately which still didn't give me any idea wtf. "That's 275 lbs of corn-fed Nebraska boy running that ball!" Dean Steinkuhler, Nebraska's Outland Trophy (Nebraska's trophies weighed more than some of Miami's players.) winning offensive lineman, had picked up an intentional fumble of quarterback Tommy Frazier and..."ran," I could quibble about "ran" as applied to 275 lb Dean Steinkuhler on the fumblerooski play...And "made his way" off left tackle where he had nothing but 19 yards of green grass, which to Dean's credit, did not bring him down, to the end zone. Which he made it to.

When the final play of the game happened, Tommy Frazier's failed two-point conversion, both I and my Nebraska fan were on our feet of course...but I did not cheer. I felt so sorry for my friend. Clapped him on the back.

I feel so sorry for Nebraska people now.

"I’m 60 years old, and this past three years is the most sad-sack Husker football of my lifetime."

That's hard to read. That is Lee Barfknecht of the Omaha World-Herald after yesterday's 54-21 debacle at Minnesota. Lee has been covering solely Nebraska football daily for fifteen years. 

I love Sam McKewon, Big Sam, big guy, big head of rust hair, big rust beard covering his big face; Sam covers the "'Huskers" for the same paper. I watched Sam's post-game wrap from Minnesota's stadium yesterday and I remembered: last year Nebraska played some team in November on the road and it was miserable middle America weather and Sam paused in his two-minute wrap and looked around the stadium and gestured and said, "It's FREEZING here!" Sincere, endearingly so, it gave me a belly laugh. 

Small world: Nebraska hired Shawn Eichorst as Athletic Director a few years ago. Hired Eichorst from Miami. He had been A.D. down there. There's a significant culture gap between Miami and Lincoln, Nebraska you might imagine. Although Eichorst was from Wisconsin, I believe. Well, it's close. Eichorst hired Mike Riley from Oregon State. Repeat above. Nice guy, Mike Riley. Even Nebraska fans say so. 

Eichorst forced Bob Diaco (late of the University of Connecticut) on Riley to coach the defense. Vouched for Diaco, Shawn did. "Best coach in any sport at Nebraska," Shawn said.

Nebraska lost at home to Northwestern last week. Bob Diaco spoke to the media afterwards:

“There’s no reasonable reason...considering... where the defensive program was at... to believe that they should be able to do everything 
The key right-to-left head roll on "everything."

that needs to be done in the game, to win the game. The strain was spectacular, right? So we could 
just go back and look at THE GAME
                                                   "THE GAME"

                                                        Do you see the strain?
Do you see it, or no?

Is it just something I’m missing? You can’t play the game like that and win...Right? So the things happened in the game...created an impossible circumstance to win.”

Do you see the heads the strain? You have to see see it:

The reaction from the Nebraska faithful was mixed. Here's one reaction in the mix:

Is this his first time speaking English?

Another reaction Sam got was from one of Bob's colleagues in the coaching profession,

“That guy’s from outer space.”

Nebraska fired Eichorst on September 22. 

Small, small world: If I am not mistaken, and I may be, I  b'lieve Eichorst succeeded Steve Pederson. Nebraska boy, Steve. Nebraska grad. Nebraska associate A.D. From whence he was hired by...Pitt. Twice. After Steve's first stint at Pitt, which he renamed Pittsburgh, during which he tore down Pitt Stadium and replaced the endearing Pitt script (Notice to grammarians, the "i" is not dotted (and NEVER will be) with a "steel cut" Pitt taken from children's building blocks, Nebraska hired him back. Made him THE Athletic Director. I am going to skip entirely over P...Pee..that guy's time at Nebraska out of deference to the feelings of my Nebraska friends, and their nightmares. He became Pitt's nightmare. Again. Unforced error, there on Pitt's part, BIG unforced error.

The new Nebraska A.D., Bill Moos, will fire Mike Riley sooner or later and commit Bob Diaco to a Connecticut lunatic asylum and start over. It is excrutiatingly difficult to hire a college tackle football head coach for some reason I do not know why. God only knows if Bill Moos will get it right. I feel real bad for Nebraska people.

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