Sunday, November 22, 2009
"THE EAST IS RED,"
"CHINA HAS BROUGHT FORTH A MAO ZEDONG!"
WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!
INTRODUCING PUBLIC OCCURRENCES CHINA!!!!!
MAO WORLD, MAO WORLD!
GO MAO, GO MAO!
HU! HU! HU!
Posted by Benjamin Harris at 6:26 PM
Paramount Leader Hu Jintao
1 Dungeon Place
Dear Paramount Leader Hu,
How are you I am fine.
I would like to congratulate you on becoming a capitalist. I am too.
This is my blog, which you are now reading. I hope that you can read this. English speak-speak? Nancy Tang? U got Nancy Tang?
I found out recently that you bought 51% of Google from Sergie Brinbrin. You are good at being capitalist! I was wondering if you might want to buy my blog. It's usually called Public Occurrences but I changed the name for you to Public Occurrences China! :)
I can take out the whoop, whoop, whoop if you want.
I'm sorry I don't know the second line of the lyrics in "The East is Red," I will learn.
I have had my circulation staff come up with some figures for you about the readership of Publocc (that's a "nickname.") . These are the readers from a recent day:
-3 personal friends.
-168 sexual perverts who mistyped an "L" in their search terms which brought up Public Occurrences instead of where they really wanted to go if you know what I mean and I know you do.
The number of Chinese readers is down since you blocked Public Occurrences but now you can own it and put whatever you want on it!
Yes I will help you track down dissidents.
People advertise on Public Occurrences for real dollars which is what normal people call yuan. Recently we got the Ukrainian account. After you buy me it'll all be yours!
I have always wanted to be a rustless screw.
I don't know how much you paid for Google China but I will sell Public Occurrences China to you for less.
The next time you come to America, you want to stay with me?
Paramount, I look forward to doing this deal. Please say hello to Mrs. Paramount and all the little Paramounts for me.
Harris Lei Feng
Posted by Benjamin Harris at 6:25 PM