a friend has just nominated me for people magazine's list of the "twenty most eligible bachelors who are prosecutors."
PROFILE
name: benjamin harris
personal:
-forty-nine year old
-twice divorce (but one annuled so it doesn't count)
-father of two
-murder cases only, especially cold cases.
interests:
-women's fashion
-wild boar hunting
-art
-starting civilizational war.
accomplishments:
-made legal history by getting reversed for racial discrimination in jury selection.
-stopped by ski patrol for skiing too fast.
-kicked out of personal therapy for being "too difficult."
goals:
-flying a plane into that big square thing in mecca.
quotes:
-"blowjobs are like croissants, i'm not sure i've ever had a good one." (made to ex-wife numero dos)
-"if you were my wife i'd want one too," in replay to therapist's statement, "if i were your wife, i'd want a seperation."
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