"i thought then of all that i had been told about swann's love for odette, of the way in which swann had been tricked all his life."

i have written here previously of how much i have learned about my relationship with b from having read the section in remembrance of things past called "swann in love."

i have also previously acknowledged what was very painful for me to acknowledge, that i am jealous of, and therefore still in love with b.

there is more though to my pain. there is the additional quote from proust above, that is also applicable. "swann in love" concluded with his marriage to odette and it bothered me because of the obvious suggestion that i had made the wrong decision.

i don't know how proust is going to wrap up the swann/odette subplot--i am only a little over half done with the book--but here in volume two is the judgment above and more in like vein. swann also dies in volume two.