Tuesday, December 03, 2024

A Thing for String

Queen Korat the Eleventh has an obsession with things stringy, or at least what she perceives with her mini-brain to be stringy things.

I ate spaghetti tonight, which I frequently do. I would twirl the spaghetti strands around my fork like a reg'lar Eye-talian and lift it hot and steamy out of the bowl and Eleven, of course sitting right in front of me on the computer, followed the dangling strands with her eyes like it was irresistible bait on a fisherman's line. Occasionally, not on tonight's occasion, she will eat a bite or two, especially if I choose one myself for her Highness and drape off a book or something.

Water. Cats HATE water, it's like kryptonite or something to them. Not Eleven. But only a particular kind of water, the kind that makes a thin string when the tap isn't on full blast. I have posted videos of her oblivious to the water streaming off her head and trunk. She tries to catch the string of water as it goes down the drain pipe, like it's getting away from her. She will not jump into standing water like a dog might do. The string's the thing. When I shower she doesn't jump into the bathtub, but she does perch on the toilet next to the shower and meow--loudly--to get in. She's attracted by the streams of water coming out of the shower head. When I'm done and the water drips out of the pipe into the drain, particularly if I leave the tap on slightly to produce a stream, she is tres interested. She is not interested in drinking it. She's intent on pursuing that dreamy stream before it gets away.

Every day when I floss my teeth, unspool some dental floss, preparatory to wrapping the ends around my two index fingers one end dangles of course and Eleven is like it's a mouse, clawing and scratching at it, clawing and scratching me is all it amounts to.

God help me if I leave a roll of toilet paper out. If it's on the spool I will hear her unraveling it. If I take it off the spool and leave it on the sink she's on it. I have the equivalent of a roll of scratched, clawed, unspooled toilet paper in the cabinet under the sink. I have found when I have been distracted the entrails of toilet paper on the floor from the bathroom down the hall to my (our) bedroom. It's a toilet paper massacre scene. As soon as I hear her, when I hear her, I jump out of bed and she knows! She knows she's been bad. Course I don't do anything to her about it, just clean up the carnage like a pussy cat-whipped motherfucker! She has me completely wrapped around one of her little toes.

Every time I pore new litter into her box she goes wild the same way as with the floss, clawing at the string it makes as I pore it into her box. Now when I change her litter, I move her box to higher ground so that she can't scatter it everywhere. Before my trip to Brazil I bought a new box of a different kind of litter. Didn't open it until I got back. The first day I pored some of the new, it kicks up dust as it comes out which repelled her. But a little while later I heard her scratching at something and looked her way. The idjit was clawing at the opening of the box of litter to get the litter to come out. And some did. I thought it was a one off. Then today I heard the same thing, this time I knew, and went over to the box of litter and she had gotten much more of it out of the box. Got some electrical tape and taped the damn spout hole up.

So yeah, those are five examples of her thing for stringy stuff. ...Hey, feel free to check back frequently for more edification, hear? And uh, I guess that's all I have for tonight. Good night your Highness, sleeping on the kitchen counter by the frosted window for reasons unknown. The green Publix bag goes mahvelously with your green eyes.



"Oh dad, did you want to be on your computer? I'm on it, sowy!"

[School] Fires [ ]

 Meeshagan fired offensive coordinator Kirk Campbell.

Local News

The Garden of Eden

Madness seems to come over Hemingway in this novel. A dissociative state seems to pull his mind apart as he writes it.

From my daughter-in-law (still in Brazil)


🥹🤗

It was the best of times, it was the worst if times

Jameis Winston had the best game of his career. And one of the worst.

He threw four touchdowns and three interceptions, teo returned for TD's, the last with 1:48 left that was Denver's winning score. Brown Turds fall to 3-9.

Monday, December 02, 2024

My basic concern with the "Heat" is that they are not very good at basketball

The last nine games against Beans, including five playoff games at the end of 2023/24;


Beans by 8, 10/27/23
Beans by 33, 1/25/24
Beans by 4, 2/11/24
Beans by 20, 4/22/24 (playoffs)
"Heat" by 10, 4/25/24 (playoffs)
Beans by 20, 4/28/24 ('loffs)
Beans by 14, 4/29/24 (ditto)
Beans by 34, 5/2/24 (dits)
Beans by 19, 12/2/24 

Beans 8 wins, "Heat" 1, Two of eight Beans wins were by single digits, two were over 30. Beans average margin of victory (including the one L): 16 points/game. 

Next up for the Carny: "Lakers" (12-9) in the Bus Wed., PHO (11-8 currently) down here Sat., Cleve. (18-3) Sunday, OKC (15-5) Bang Bus Dec. 20, @ Orl. (15-7) Dec. 21.

Conclusion: The "Heat" is going out.

FT World Chambeans 108 Miami 45's 89

Spo went 11 deep (all available players) in the rout, which reached 27, all starters save Donut playing in the mid-30's, only Hatem Tatum playing 36 for Beans. It was a stroll for the champbeans and an effort for the "Heat" who got outclassed because they don't have the talent of probably half the Association's teams and next play the "Lakers", PHO, Cleve., OKC and Orlando who also are good while we are bad. Thoufhts and prayers for the "Heat" and a voodoo curse on the grandgodfather and Andy Elisburg who gave us Terry Rozier and a  groundhog day roster.

55-39, 3:24 2Q

Now it starts...Beans (8-2) 36-27

World Chambeans 28 Miami 45's 25, End 1Q

Beans 19 45's 16, 3:29 1Q (45's sans J-Buts tonight)

Spo started Donut, Highway, Bam-O, Herro, and 3J.

Hey! The Pitt "Dribbling Panthers" are 7-1 and ranked no. 18!

Yeah, they have really played an easy schedule so far, and are 9-9!

Miami Heat’s Upcoming Tough Schedule Against Good Quality Teams

...The Heat hold a 1-5 record against teams with a winning record this season. OWIE!

@ Beans tonight 16-4
H La-La Lake-Lake 12-8
H PHO 11-8
H Cleve. 18-3
H OKC 15-5
@ Disney 15-7
H Rust 9-12
@ Disney 15-7
@ Pigeons 9-11
@ Cow Town 15-6






KASH PATEL TRUMPIE FBI DIRECTOR!😂


I have lost my voice! (cold in Brazil). I am speechless.

Eleven is making strong intimations that she considers my sleep period to have expired.

Sunday, December 01, 2024

It becomes our disagreeable duty to report that there is deep distress in the Big Easy over the immediate, and we can hope, future existence of the NBA franchise there resident denominated the "Pelicans". Historians of catastrophe know too well the history of professional basketball in those precincts. The aforementioned franchise is at present weighted down (literally) by one Zion Williamson aka the Fat Thot Fucker, a human dirigible of 285 pounds in the ideal state of things, believed to get to 295 pounds from lack of will to bypass local Dunkin' Donuts, and beset by a multitude of injuries from carrying around such extravagant blubber. Last week Williamson, with rhe judgment and respect for his org. and his profession that we have become accustomed to expect from him, shared a video of his blobness shirtless getting a tattoo, screenshots of which we are forced to share in the interest of "completing the record".






We make bold to project that the mind of God contemplated Zion in these photo snaps as a garbage man or an employee in the municipal Department of Solid Waste, noble vocations to be sure, but not a professional basketball player running up and down hardwood surfaces 40' a night for 70-80 nights to earn his contractual salary of $39,000,000 per annum. And that is the source of the distress in the org. representing the city that should not exist and what to do about same. There is some what may turn out to be dissociative thought of "cutting", not the excess largesse, but the personage of Williamson from the payroll of the team's owners and the roster of said team. although perhaps (or perhaps not) a more reasonable outcome would be to "trade" the personage, baggage, handlebars and the works to some other deranged franchise in return for professional ballers who actually play in the games for which they get paid so extravagantly. It is a knotty, or at least a deep set conundrum that has raised anxiety and may well cost decision-makers their careers, and perhaps (but not also) the already besmirched, city that should not exist their professional basketball team. 

We extend our thoughts and prayers, and free fast food to all concerned.


FT's

Cuyahoga (18-3) 115 Beans (16-4) 111.

Tonto (6-15) 119 Mimi (9-9) 116.

The two losers of tonight's games play in Beantown tomorrow night-o. The parents or guardians of minors must sign a hold harmless agreement for any trauma suffered from the expected carnage.

At 9-9 (.500) the 45's project to a 41-41 W/L record, four wins short of their cumulative 10-year average 45-37 record. Getting 45 wins equates to a .549 win percentage expressed as a decimal. The 45's have to go 36-28 over the remaining 64 games (.563) to achieve the lofty standard that is their eponymous measure. We pray for the maintenance of this historical consistency which the undersigned posits upon reason and belief to be without parallel in Association history.

Setting the river on fire in Cle.! Cuyahoga 111 Beans 110, 7.3"

Hoo doggie, burning the teepee in Tonto 116-113, :24.2

Bird Bowl Final Crows 19 Pigeons 24

Tonto 105 Mimi 94, 6:54 4Q

HT New Amsterdam 57 Katrina 28

The lead is down from a 1H high 32.🙄 The fat thot fucker is out agayne.

Bird Bowl. Crows 12 Pigeons 21

HT Tonto 65 Mimi 60

There's no D in Miami "Heat"!

"Lemme see!"


                     "Ooh dad, that's a good one."


Tonto 25 Mimi 17, 3:35 1Q

Ochai Agbaji Plays Basketball

Tonto 1 Mimi 0 (early)

thepicksburghstillersscored44pointsinONEtacklefootballgame:o

Bird Battle: Crows 9 Pigeons 14, :38 2Q

[ School] Fires Coach

Head Coach unless indicated:

FIU Fires Mike MacIntyre.
WVU Fires Neal Brown
Purdue Fires Ryan Walters
Texas Tech Fires defensive coordinator Tim DeRuyter and secondary coach Marcel Yates

Fast Planes led 21-7, lost 26-21 at FetLife.


J-E-T-S! BLOW BLOW BLOW!

"Manchester City’s slide continues to amaze..."

https://www.theguardian.com/football/live/2024/dec/01/liverpool-v-manchester-city-premier-league-live 

The City machine looks broken, the certainties that have driven them for so long absent, the control gone. They got exactly what they deserved on a highly charged Anfield occasion – another defeat, a sixth in seven matches in all competitions, a fourth in succession in the Premier League...

 

90+2 min: Pep is rubbing his chin now – at least he isn’t picking at his face – but he cuts a beaten, bemused figure. Just what is happening?

                                          👆That.

FT 'Pool 2 City 0

'Pool 2 (Salah PK) City 0, 78'

Planter in my (second ex) wife's kitchen


'Pool 1 City 0, 62', T.o.P. 'Pool 49% City 51%

Shots on target: 'Pool 4 City 0.

'Pool 1 City 0, 55'

 

52 min: City look…better. Nunes forces a corner. Their fans can be heard, too. Szoboszlai on Haaland is an odd pairing at corners but the danger is cleared.

...

48 min: De Bruyne is now warming up. Maybe it ain’t over till it’s over. Still all City but very much sterile possession.

[T.o.P. 53': 53% 'Pool.]

 

Half-time: Liverpool 1-0 Manchester City

City will be glad that’s over. Liverpool wanted more. And remain capable of doing so. Liverpool have ebbed as time has gone on. What can Pep conjurw? (sic)

HT 'Pool 1 City 0

Time of possession: 'Pool 56% (down from 63% earlier)👀

11.15 EST

14 min: City look beaten already.

(John Brewin, The Guardian)

Liverpool 1 City 0, 12' 🤷‍♂️

Liverpool vs Manchester City

Home at Last




Congratulations to the Florida "Gators"!

Florida closed the season with a 31-11 pounding of Half Ass U (2-10) to finish 7-5 and on a three game winning streak that included W's over then-22 ElleEsseEw and then-9 Olé Miss. As for the Semiholes, if the Air Plane Conference is successful in jet-tisoning the embarrassing "university" its sports teams can play in the Southeast Conference.

The Deer That Made Milwaukee Famous

The "Bucks" (10-9) beat putrid D.C. (2-16) Saturday night for their sixth straight dub. Giannis had a 3W, 42, 12, and 11. Fear the Deer.