Occasionally people send me things that might be of interest. I received the following from a woman. It struck me as wise and humorous and so with the permission of the author, Michelle Smith, I publish it here.
Recently I underwent a hysterectomy and I am spending five weeks recuperating at home. I received personal visits and calls from many well wishers, for which I am very grateful. During my recuperation, I realized how important sick visitation was, and so I decided to put together a guide which will make the visitation much more enjoyable and guaranteed to make a sick person enjoy you and remember your visit. Here is a list of things I liked and did not like during those visits, which I think people should be mindful of when visiting the sick:
Do not give stupid medical advice: A friend called and insisted that I wear a girdle. She said that if I don't, when I heal my belly will be big. The thought of putting my aching body in a girdle gave me an instant headache. When I asked my sister, who is a registered nurse, about wearing a girdle, she said: “who told you that nonsense.” I was so relieved. What I liked: I was having problem with passing gas and my friend told me to drink some hot Pepsi. It worked like a charm.
Do not offer to make soup for people who have never drank your soup: Many people called and said they are going to make some soup and take for me, which I politely declined. I have never tasted their soup and during this time, I did not want to try anything new. Not because you like your soup, I am going to like your soup. Whenever I see the people who want to make me soup calling, I just don't answer their calls. What I liked: A friend of mine who brought me soup from my favorite restaurant.
Do not be critical of stupid things: Someone came to visit me in the hospital and when she saw the T.V. in my room, she said “when I was in ABC hospital the T.V. was bigger and it was flat screen.” I then told her I was tired and wanted to sleep.
What I liked: People who gave me jokes. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. I avoided people who spoke about difficult medical experience: Honestly do you really think you cheer someone up by ta lking about someone who had to do three operations after they took out their uterus because they had medical difficulties? Save the war stories for another time.
What I liked: People who said I looked good and I am doing well. Even if it was not true, tell me a lie. I also avoided people who insisted on talking about my illness all the time: If I hear one more person say, “take it easy”, “don't lift anything heavy,” “don't walk too much,” I could scream. I KNOW THAT.
What I liked: People who talked about everyday things i.e. the weather, the family, a wedding.
Do not bring fruits that are difficult to peal A friend brought me a pineapple and didn't offer to peal it. I only had my 16 year old daughter looking after me at home. She is not going to peel any pineapple, so I had gave it away. What I liked: Fruits that was small and easy to handle. I disliked people who do not show up on time A friend of mine called and said she will be coming to visit me at about 11 am. At 2 pm she called and said she is on her way. She did not arrive until 5 pm at which time I was very tired and sleepy.
What I liked: People who showed up on time and stayed for under an hour because I got tired very quickly. Watch the things you say and your actions and you will make sick visiting a wonderful experience for yourself and especially for the person who is sick.
-Michelle Smith
