Saturday, May 21, 2016

Who is that, fucking Whoopi Goldberg? Well, that just blows my racial theory to shreds. My racial theory was this: Only White people have sufficient stupidity to pose on the edge of a falls. The "natives," the African Black people, have insufficient stupidity, they just look at the White people posing on the edge of a falls and go Wtf? My racial theory did not spring fully-formed as from the head of Zeus just this morning, it is years in the "development." I think it was Hillary, no not her, him, Sir Edmund Hillary, who first started my cogitations. "Why climb Everest?," Hillary was asked. "Because it is there."

"Because
It
Is
There."

No. That is insufficient reason to risk your life, Sir! That is stupendous stupidity.

No! I forgot, it was gyms that got me started then Hillary. I read a bio of Benjamin Franklin. Inventor. I imagined Franklin in America today. Cars. Planes. He would be amazed, sure, but you could explain the technology to him and he would understand. Then after showing him around you go the gym for an apres-amazement workout.

You could not explain the modern gym to Benjamin Franklin. "What are these people the modern slaves?" "Why would anybody want to get 'in shape'?" "Why do you run indoors on that revolving thing?" "There's a non-revolving one of those outside, it's called the ground."

You could not make Benjamin Franklin understand the modern gym, na-ha, no way. And the modern gym is a quintessentially White American "institution." One time in China I went to a Bally's...Why did I go to?...Oh! To interview Mr. Wang, not for a workout, to interview Mr. Wang, he chose the waiting area of a Bally's. For some reason. One person in the entire fucking gym, one, the only fat Chinese in existence, have you ever seen a fat Chinese? There are none, there's one. He was at the Bally's on the revolving thing, the treadmill, but there are plenty of fat White people, I'm one of them, and so we invented the modern gym and the treadmill because we had to spend our money somewhere to get "in shape" and running on the non-revolving one outside didn't cost any money so we couldn't do it.

So yeah...Oh! So that was the gestation of my racial theory of superior White stupidity and it led to a consideration of Sir Edmund Hillary which was confirmatory of the theory and then this morning to a consideration of White people on cliffs of water in Africa but then I saw the picture of the retarded African and the other Africans and then I saw this 2013 headline,

Victoria Falls plunge: What Chinese tourist was doing when he slipped and fell

 and my racial theories were just blown to shit. So thanks a lot.