About 9:45 Thursday night my son texted me that he was "meeting a friend" at a very expensive hotel on Miami Beach, "where they have a room :)"

"Who is the friend?"
"Just a friend I met on Tinder."
"Her name's Sophia."

"Lady friend...Ok. I'm asking too many questions. Carry on."

But maybe...Sophia was a doctor from South America, came from "a very good family", but my son has had this unerring sixth sense in attracting very beautiful PSYCHOS! Everyone of his girlfriends. So that began working on me. About an hour later with visions of Sophia Mengele harvesting my son's organs and leaving him for dead in a bathtub of ice...

"Son, you're not being set up to be robbed, are you?"

No response for five minutes..

"Son, please...Just a word. I'm sorry. I'm just so paranoid."

"Lol nooo"

Bless that child (30 years old, but still). Thank you. 

The next day, early afternoon,

"Just checking in. All's well! Didn't get robbed :)"

" I'm so embarrassed." 

And I was. Damn sleeping pills, I thought. I know better than to text or write after I've taken one.

But he responded "Why?! Lol don't be! It was a valid question" and then went on to explain that HER parents had put him through a Harvard admissions vetting process with "interviews" with them and with family friends!

AS WOULD I HAD MY SON HAD BEEN MY DAUGHTER!, are you frigging kidding me? I would have secretly sent a beard with an AK to rent the adjacent room! Ho-ho-ho, what a relief. I felt sooo much better, was no longer embarrassed and was reassured that I reacted as Dr. Sophia's parents did. I'll take my sleeping pill tonight without concern.