Naming Names.

Do you like your name?  I like “Benjamin Harris.”  I like that it’s three syllables and then two syllables, bum-bum-bum, bum-bum.  I like the way it sounds.  I don’t like the way one syllable-one syllable names, like “John Clarke,” sound.  But Benjamin Harris is very white bread.  No pizzazz.  Not like these names:

 “Vontavious Burfict.”

“Furious Bradley.” 

“Barkevious Mingo.”

Those are the actual names of actual people who play actual college tackle football in America.  Those are the most tremendous names in the history of names.  If there is reincarnation I don’t care what I come back as but I want my name to be Barkevious Mingo.