It becomes our disagreeable duty to report an additional outrage committed against the honor of the Neptune of the Mediterranean, Francesco Schettino.  Francesco was the captain of the Costa Concordia when, unprovoked, a seabed rock formation attacked the ship.

Francesco gave credible testimony to investigators on the charge of abandoning ship, to wit:

"I tripped and I ended up in one of the [life] boats. That's how I found myself there."

The New York Times cynically characterizes Francesco's account as "farcical."  Shame.

Happily we can report that an Italian judge, moved by Francesco's testimony, let him out of custody on house arrest. Now Francesco can begin his second career as spokesman for the multi-national corporation Chicken of the Sea.