Myrtle Beach Police
@MBPDSC
A boat has washed on shore near Williams Street. DO NOT GO NEAR THE BOAT. It is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. The information we have is that no one is on board. DO NOT GO NEAR THE BOAT.
Okay! Okay! We won't go near the boat! Is that guy too close to the boat? HEY YOU, YOU'RE TOO NEAR THE BOAT! GET BACK OR WE'LL SHOOT!
Was that really necessary, Myrtle? Jesus Christ.