Nearing Midnight for Eleven

Text message sent to my family last night.

I’ve had it with Eleven. 

She tunneled under the comforter like a Hamas terrorist and clawed my right leg. It was like a fish hook in me and she wouldn’t release her own. I tried to take the claw out gently and then she sliced my thumb open.

The cut was deep and painful and blood drops fell onto the bedding.

I was so angry that I threw my phone onto the lump under the covers to scatter her and screamed, “YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU’RE HURTING ME!” She ran and I threw my phone at her again. 

She ran into the living room. I was still so furious I yelled, “YOU BETTER HIDE!”and kicked the boxes she was hiding between until I heard her bell jingling. 

I’m not letting her in the bedroom tonight. This may be the last straw.  I have been so loving and indulgent toward her. I've slept in full cat body armor for months. I’m not putting up with this any more. I may turn her in to the shelter. Fuck her.

Daughter: when you take her to the vet consult the dr and ask for advice on the behavior 

Son: Wtf is happening. 

JUST WHAT I EXPLAINED IS WHAT IS HAPPENING!!! She attacked me like a terrorist through her tunnels. I’VE HAD IT! I’m not going to engage in behavior modification with some goddamned therapist like she’s a Public Defender client who needs a loving intervention. I’m not taking her to a vet for her goddamned hair loss. I couldn’t give a shit about her fucking hair loss when she’s attacking me and really hurting me in sneak attacks. She’s a scaredy cat and I am MORE than capable of ruling by abject FEAR. Or abandoning her back onto the streets or having her put to sleep. This episodic behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and I will not tolerate it, or her.