From: Benjamin Harris
I have thought incessantly since the White Out Debacle: Why does this keep happening to Franklin and PSU?, you know, the record against top teams. I couldn't come up with a satisfying answer until today.
I am known for sarcastic trolling, maybe you've heard, but I am not gaslighting you hear, I promise. I considered the usual suspects: Is it a recruiting failure? No, you're a great recruiter. Is it a lack of discipline? No, you run a tight (more on that in a minuto) clean ship and your players play with discipline. Is James dumb? No, you are highly intelligent and organized. A fundamental criticism of you is that you're "just not all that" as a coach, and you have been justly criticized for your play calls in crucial situations in Big Games; you know, "Fourth and Franklin". But I have followed you and your program pretty closely since you took over 12 years ago and it just didn't add up.. It's not a fan's love; I am not a PSU fan, I am the opposite. I also don't have an electronic television machine and have never watched your team blow big games except in highlights and write-ups. So mine are not the specs for a critic offering a sincere suggestion for your consideration. But I talked to my Big Brother today, who is a PSU fan. "B.B., what did you make of the Oregon loss?"
"Ben, I tuned in at the beginning and you know what I saw? Drew Allar kneeling and saying a prayer with a teammate BEFORE the game." I interrupted him with a loud "OHHH!" that drowned him out. "I saw that and immediately fell asleep, knowing that PSU would lose. I woke up at the start of the 4th Q. Oregon was playing free and loose and having fun." "Let me make sure I understand, that seems to be a KEY point if I understand you correctly", I drilled down. "Are you saying that PSU played too "tight"? "Yes, that's exactly it." "Not that Dan Lanning is a better coach or O has more talented players but PSU is playing with their assholes tighter than a 10-year old's?" "Yes, that's it." "OHHH!" "From what you say, I think of Ryan Day. He has yet to beat Michigan and has compared those losses to the death of his father. That's just sick. But Day still won the national championship last season." "Ben, I hadn't thought about Ryan Day but you're right, that analogy is what it is. PSU plays scared and afraid to lose."
Coach, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, you have the ability to win a natty. Do you in your heart of hearts, when you're most down on yourself, believe that you are a lesser coach than Dan Lanning,
and Marcus Freeman? I don't! And I don't particularly like you and I detest your school and PSU people grate in me. You have the nous as a coach. You have the players.
Just chill out, man! More importantly get your players to chill out. NO MORE FUCKING PRAYERS TO THE ALMIGHTY BEFORE GAMES! How 'bout a drinking game a respectable time before kickoff. James, lighten up, end Allar's religious revivals, be pos-i-tive. John Harbaugh bellowed at his team before practice started, "WHO'S GOT IT BETTER THAN US!"--at San Di-fucking-ego. Take a drink now and then to kill the bug you have up your ass and spike Allar's communion chalice with some Thunderbird.
Your record against top-6 opponents is not because you're a blockhead or your players are Pitt rejects. You're an exceptional coach with 4 and 5 ⭐s coming out your asshole.
This is a suggestion for your consideration, only that, and I really don't care what happens to you, your team or your university. But I think my Big Brother, who is astute, is right. Lighten up, Franklin.
Sincerely,
Benjamin Franklin Harris
