Blame it on Rio.

It was utterly unexpected, historic and inexplicable. Germany obliterated Brazil 7-1...

...a defeat that forever changes the world’s perception of Brazilian soccer.

-The New York Times.

Match call as it happened, The Telegraph:

GOAL! GERMANY! Oh Brazil. Gutting. They've left Muller totally unmarked in the 
box, this is criminal defending, the winner of the Golden Boot in the last cup, the opposition's most lethal finisher... just left to his own devices near the back post to sidefoot the ball into the net. Shocker. "I would be embarrassed if I gave my opposite number that sort of space," says Martin Keown. Brazil 1 Germany 0 (Muller 11)

GOAL! Oh no. Oh dear. Miroslav Klose has made it two... Brazil 0 Germany 2(Klose 23)

GOAL! Oh my goodness... Three goals. Oh Brazil. This is nightmare. Brazil 0 Germany 3(Kroos 25)

GOAL! Did I say that was a nightmare? THIS is a nightmare. It's four. Fernandinho has been caught in possession and Brazil have been opened up like a Kinder Egg. Kroos slots the ball home and it's four. Carnage.Brazil 0 Germany 4 (Kroos 26)

GOAL! It's five. This is brutal to watch. It's like Brazil have been shot with tranquliser darts and Germany can just walk around them. The Germans nearly at walking pace on the edge of the box, Mesut Ozil and Miroslav Klose exchanging passes, Luiz the latest man to have a nightmare, and Khedira - who has been the main architect of this cathedral of destruction - now has a chance to get on the scoresheet with a clean strike of his own. Brazil 0 Germany 5 (Khedira 29)

GOAL! Best goal of the lot I think. So patient, so clinical from Germany... Nobody has had to do anything much to take his goal, the Brazil defence just being so out of position. Brazil 0 Germany 6 (Schurrle 69)

GOAL! Nope. That is the best goal yet. Surging run down the left, inside to Schurrle and he has lashed it home with a magnificent finish. Brazil 0 Germany 7 (Schurrle 79)

GOAL! Hey! Not so bad! Brazil have a goal. A breakway, for once Germany don't get back in time, and for once the Brazilian forwards show some composure. Oscar is the man who slots it home, good finish. Brazil 1 Germany 7 (Oscar 90)

FULL TIME BRAZIL 1 GERMANY 7Astonishing. You would have to be a heartless swine not to feel sad and sorry for Brazil. The huge pressure, the crazed expectancy, all the nation's mania and hysteria heaped on the shoulders of a passionate and useful but ultimately limited football team. They cracked under the strain, no doubt, but there was more to this than just pressure, or bad tactics and team selection, or hopeless positional play, or an excellent German side packed with sharp passers and cool finishers. It was all of those things, and yet more.

Image: "Screw this. I'm outta Brazil." Twitter meme.