Hey. So, there is this man running for political office in Michigan, USA. He asks voters to excuse his several arrests for burglary and trespassing. He explains that they were not as they appear, property crimes. He explains that he was "cranking." ? Well, he explains that. He explains that "cranking" is a sexual fetish. ? He explains that the sexual fetish of cranking consists of breaking into the motor vehicles of others, disconnecting the spark plugs, revving the engines, and masturbating.

Clifford: A strange man defecated on my sister.

Wendy: (pause) Why?

Clifford: Is there any reason I could give you that would answer that satisfactorily? Human sexuality is just…it's so mysterious.

-Crimes and Misdemeanors, Woody Allen.