My son works at Big Brothers Big Sisters and always invites me to presentations or films or whatever that BBBS puts on and this one occasion, three years ago, it was right down the street from my office and the time was convenient so I went to show support for my son and for BBBS.
It was a consciousness-raising presentation put on by the police. The presenter was an obviously nervous young woman, maybe her first public-speaking engagement, and there were only a half-dozen or so in the audience in this conference room. I sat next to my son. The young woman introduced the topic of her presentation as "sexting." I heard "texting," which I had heard of, and assumed the topic was about the dangers of text messaging and driving, until she repeated it a few more times and then I heard the "s."
I guess she must have invited questions or maybe I just wanted to show her and my son that I was paying attention, but I was confused, I assumed sexting was sending a text, the printed word, about sex and didn't understand why the police would be putting on such a presentation so I raised my hand and asked "What is sexting?"
It was the wrong time for classroom participation.
A couple of other people--which I guess would be about half the audience--tittered and I actually don't remember what the presenter's answer was because my son threw back his head at my question and then whispered an explanation to me while gesticulating with his hands, which sort of obviated the effect of whispering. I had never seen him so disgusted with me. Chastened at my ignorance and also embarrassed that I had just revealed that I had never received a sext message with photo!*, I resolved not to say another goddamned word.
But I couldn't help myself.
Because as she went on, the young woman presenter raised our consciousness on the law, viz: If a "young girl" sends a "young boy" a picture of her ownself in her nakedness, the young boy gets arrested for possession of child pornography. :o
Raised my hand again (in defiance of my son's sharp sideways glance).
She wasn't a female cop, I would have had no hesitation going off on a female police officer (except that I did not want to embarrass my son) (again)), the presenter was just a young volunteer, vulnerable, earnest,she was reading from a script, and I was NOT going to cross-examine her, so I just asked in an even tone of voice:
"So, the boy gets arrested and the girl does not?"
There seems to me now to have been a nano-second's hesitation in her response, as if that didn't seem right to her either. She looked at her notes a moment and then said "That's the way the law stands now" in whatever exact young, female, presenter words she used; from what I remember that's accurate enough to be in quotation marks.
There was a couple seconds while she re-found her place and went on. My son and one other, a man, now looked at me, I was prepared to shoot them a "What was wrong with THAT question?" preemptive strike look, but the light bulb had gone on for them. My son whispered something of realization. After that I didn't say another goddamned word but my body language was "disgusted," I hope the presenter didn't notice (but my son did and cautioned me) and don't think she did because she was reading from her notes. Afterwards, in the elevator, the man said that didn't sound fair to him either.
*Last year my phone buzzed to signal a received text message. My saved contacts showed that it was from a female client, unsightly, dear to me but unsightly, it was a picture of just her vagina. So I finally got one! Another message followed seconds later, "I am so sorry, I meant to send that to my boyfriend."
It was a consciousness-raising presentation put on by the police. The presenter was an obviously nervous young woman, maybe her first public-speaking engagement, and there were only a half-dozen or so in the audience in this conference room. I sat next to my son. The young woman introduced the topic of her presentation as "sexting." I heard "texting," which I had heard of, and assumed the topic was about the dangers of text messaging and driving, until she repeated it a few more times and then I heard the "s."
I guess she must have invited questions or maybe I just wanted to show her and my son that I was paying attention, but I was confused, I assumed sexting was sending a text, the printed word, about sex and didn't understand why the police would be putting on such a presentation so I raised my hand and asked "What is sexting?"
It was the wrong time for classroom participation.
A couple of other people--which I guess would be about half the audience--tittered and I actually don't remember what the presenter's answer was because my son threw back his head at my question and then whispered an explanation to me while gesticulating with his hands, which sort of obviated the effect of whispering. I had never seen him so disgusted with me. Chastened at my ignorance and also embarrassed that I had just revealed that I had never received a sext message with photo!*, I resolved not to say another goddamned word.
But I couldn't help myself.
Because as she went on, the young woman presenter raised our consciousness on the law, viz: If a "young girl" sends a "young boy" a picture of her ownself in her nakedness, the young boy gets arrested for possession of child pornography. :o
Raised my hand again (in defiance of my son's sharp sideways glance).
She wasn't a female cop, I would have had no hesitation going off on a female police officer (except that I did not want to embarrass my son) (again)), the presenter was just a young volunteer, vulnerable, earnest,she was reading from a script, and I was NOT going to cross-examine her, so I just asked in an even tone of voice:
"So, the boy gets arrested and the girl does not?"
There seems to me now to have been a nano-second's hesitation in her response, as if that didn't seem right to her either. She looked at her notes a moment and then said "That's the way the law stands now" in whatever exact young, female, presenter words she used; from what I remember that's accurate enough to be in quotation marks.
There was a couple seconds while she re-found her place and went on. My son and one other, a man, now looked at me, I was prepared to shoot them a "What was wrong with THAT question?" preemptive strike look, but the light bulb had gone on for them. My son whispered something of realization. After that I didn't say another goddamned word but my body language was "disgusted," I hope the presenter didn't notice (but my son did and cautioned me) and don't think she did because she was reading from her notes. Afterwards, in the elevator, the man said that didn't sound fair to him either.
*Last year my phone buzzed to signal a received text message. My saved contacts showed that it was from a female client, unsightly, dear to me but unsightly, it was a picture of just her vagina. So I finally got one! Another message followed seconds later, "I am so sorry, I meant to send that to my boyfriend."
