Yinz yinzers oughta listen. I done already made ya yuan. Now having bragged on my own self, of course, somebody will actually listen, lose money, and send me an irate email.
This being Thursday, All Hallows Eve and trading beginning Saturday, it is time to make your futures investments. There is one stock horribly undervalued that immediately jumps out at me: The annual World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party betwixt Jawja and FU. Now, Jawja is #8, FU #6, “Poodles” have lost once to unranked 3-3 South-Carolina-Must-Be-Destroyed—at home. Whatja call a bad loss. “Alligators” also have one loss—to then #5, now numero dos, peut-etre soon #1 Elle Esse Voux on the Bayou. The festivities are being played, per usual, on a neutral field in JAX. So whaddya think the line is?
UGA -6.5. Georgia’s innate talent and body of work through seven games make them the clear favorite, more than a TD, less than the PAT. To which the undersigned says with great unction,
As this here idiot blogger mansplained last week with his Beloved Pitt Panthers and the line agin scUM we will pore out similar logic here. You don’t have to think FU will win to win money. You will win money if they lose: by five points, by four, by three, two or one. And of course if they win outright. You will only lose mulah if the “Silver Britches” make the kick after touchdown. It’s a no-brainer, which fits me poifectly. Setting myself up: this is my strongest play of the year. Take all discretionary income and invest in FU.
This being Thursday, All Hallows Eve and trading beginning Saturday, it is time to make your futures investments. There is one stock horribly undervalued that immediately jumps out at me: The annual World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party betwixt Jawja and FU. Now, Jawja is #8, FU #6, “Poodles” have lost once to unranked 3-3 South-Carolina-Must-Be-Destroyed—at home. Whatja call a bad loss. “Alligators” also have one loss—to then #5, now numero dos, peut-etre soon #1 Elle Esse Voux on the Bayou. The festivities are being played, per usual, on a neutral field in JAX. So whaddya think the line is?
UGA -6.5. Georgia’s innate talent and body of work through seven games make them the clear favorite, more than a TD, less than the PAT. To which the undersigned says with great unction,
As this here idiot blogger mansplained last week with his Beloved Pitt Panthers and the line agin scUM we will pore out similar logic here. You don’t have to think FU will win to win money. You will win money if they lose: by five points, by four, by three, two or one. And of course if they win outright. You will only lose mulah if the “Silver Britches” make the kick after touchdown. It’s a no-brainer, which fits me poifectly. Setting myself up: this is my strongest play of the year. Take all discretionary income and invest in FU.
