I'm going to lose Eleven, I just know it. She raced past me and got outside twice today, once just now when I came back from emptying her litter. She clearly WANTS to be outside. She looked around so excitedly. I was afraid tonight that she was going to jump onto the outside railing and since it's windy out, she'd get blown off. 

Losing eleven, even if she was alive and safe, would grieve me every minute I was here without her. This is HER place. Everything here has her mark on it. I must have 500 photos of her in my camera roll.  She has been with me 24/7 for almost a year and a half. I'd be heartbroken.