Continuing our popular series "Medicine for Dummies by a Dummy", today we are pleased to offer a practical tip to make your suicide more efficacious.
It is trendy to attempt suicide by washing down a large number of over-the-counter pain relievers with a large volume of your favorite hard liquor, such as Smirnoff Green Apple Vodka, a personal favorite.
However. But. Suicide wannabes should be advised of a perverse drug interaction which can decrease your chances of success, viz.
For reasons imperfectly understood, ingesting a large quantity of the common household analgesic acetaminophen, "washing it down" simultaneously with e.g. the aforementioned green apple vodka, inhibits hepatic toxicity. That's right. Your chances of suicide completion are lessened consequent to renal failure. It seems the etoh actually protects the liver somehow from the effects of the acetaminophen overdose.
Worse, the life you have stolen back actually may be better that you still have a functioning liver, thereby necessitating "messier" methods (e.g. firearms) on any subsequent suicide attempt.
A word to the unwise from the unwise.
