Friday, April 22, 2011

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

                                                                    
The headline de jour is:

"Gaga's sorry for using the "r" word."

Oh yes I do know who Gaga is, she's on the cover of Vogue this month and Carmen my Cuban Concubine (hereinafter C.C.C.) went to see her in el concerto recently. So there.

However, I am stumped by what the "r" word could be. 

Now I, Benjamin Harris, am not unfamiliar with words that are so bad that they need to be referred to by their first letter, or, by asterisks. In fact I thought I knew--and had used--them all. One time I went into a chapel at the University of Duke, which chapel contained exquisite wood carvings. Completely oblivious I began commenting, in appropriately hushed tones, "Look at the f****** angels."  My brother, skittish that a lightning bolt from the Heavens aimed at me might incinerate him--and the chapel--too, reminded me to my surroundings and thereafter I did my commentating in appropriate language as well as tone. 

With the above as impressive attestation to my bona fides on the subject I have thought and thought and thought about the headline. "r" word..."r" word. What the h*** could that be?  "redskins?" It sounds like the word in question is an ethnic slur of some sort but I don't think "redskins" would warrant censure of a Gaga, apology by said Gaga for using it, or a headline memorializing the entire episode. So I am stumped, but as "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" is devoted to inscrutable headlines and Rule I prohibits reference to the article to seek meaning, I will remain stumped. The suspense is not killing me.