We Did It.

It can now be revealed that the elite I.T. staff at Public Occurrences is behind the recently reported bugging of Hu Jintao’s phone calls. We provide pageviewers with an exclusive transcript of a phone call placed by Shandong authorities to Hu concerning the escape of Chen Guangcheng:

Ringtone:  “The East is Red, the sun has risen!  China has brought forth…”

Hu: Hola.

Shandong: Comrade Hu, this is Shandong police.

Hu:  What do you want, Shandong?

Shandong:  Chen has escaped.

Hu:  What!

Shandong: No, What's on second.

Hu:  What? Who has escaped?

Shandong:  No, Who's on first. Chen Guangcheng has escaped!

Hu:  Chen Guangcheng has escaped?

Shandong: How did you know?

Hu: I DON’T KNOW! 

Shandong: I just told you.

Hu: That’s how I know! You just told me, Chen Guangcheng escaped!

Shandong: Yes, comrade…Paramount Comrade…Paramount Leader…

Hu: How did Chen Guangcheng escape, comrade?

Shandong:  He climbed over a wall…sir.

Hu: He climbed over a wall?

Shandong: How did you know?

Hu: He is blind, no?

Shandong: Yes, comrade.

Hu: You were guarding the blind man, no?

Shandong: Yes, comrade.

Hu: The blind man was in his house?

Shandong: Yes, comrade.

Hu:  You were guarding the house?

Shandong: Yes, comrade.

Hu: How did you let a blind man climb over a wall and escape!

Shandong: Well comrade, he plays a mean pin-ball.

Hu:  Are YOU blind!

Shandong: Well sir, I do wear contacts.

Hu: Where is he now?

Shandong: I don’t know, sir.

Hu: What do you mean, you don’t know!  Go find him!

Shandong: Do you realize it’s dark out and we can’t see anything?

Hu:  You want to go home?   It’s dark out, so you want to go home? Are you related to Francesco Schettino?

Shandong: Well, distantly. He’s my third cousin on my mother’s side.

Hu: Get back on board and find that blind man?

Shandong: Who?

Hu: Yes! This is Hu. Now find that blind man!

Shandong: Yes, comrade.