There was a report earlier this week, maybe last week, that Ty Cobb, Trump's lawyer, had given an interview to some pencil collective, I forget which one, in which he expressed confidence that the Mueller investigation was winding down and that Trump and, I remember distinctly his wording, "those closest to him would be exonerated." And that he had convinced his client, Trump, of such. I almost wrote something to the effect that, "Trump AND his closest advisers? Cucky Kushner? I'm surprised. That bums me out but Cobb knows more about it than I do."
I didn't get a chance to write that because within one news cycle all kinds of heavyweight lawyers and law professors were making their own less deferential statements, to the effect that while true that Cobb knows more about what Mueller is doing than they do, he does not know as much about what Mueller is doing as Mueller does, and if he thinks Mueller is winding down he needs to smoke less crack, words to that effect. So counter to their thinking were Cobb's statements that there was even informed speculation that Cobb was attempting to becalm Trump with magic dust so that he didn't fire Mueller, which Steven Harper predicted in that Bill Moyers interview was more likely than not if Trump sensed that Mueller was getting too close.
That got me thinking ever so briefly about the ethics of Mr. Cobb. My God, you cannot mislead your client as to the state of the case against him. Can you? What if, JUST WHAT IF, DON'T BUST ANY YEAST CELLS, the evidence convinces you that your client is guilty of, Oh, pull a rabbit-crime out of the hat, obstruction of justice, AND (the conjunctive is tres important here) is about to do something else (fire Mueller) that might necessitate making immediate reservations at the Siberia Hilton as alternative to the Booty Bandit Suite at the Gray Bar Hotel which Mueller already has secured for him. What if you mislead your client, in other words, to keep him from doing something rash, even if he has NEVER exhibited rashness before, in attempt to make less likely his residence in the afore-mentioned estimable establishments? No, I don't think so. I do not think you can mislead your client in this very situation but then I represent that stratum of alleged criminality known for rational, non-impulsive decision-making, those wrongfully accused of that denominated as "street crime." I have never represented a lunatic like Trump.
I also remembered a prior report that Commissar Bannon was greatly distressed about Trump's legal team and Mr. Cobb specifically and was frantically warning Tiny that he needed to get somebody "more aggressive" on board. Which in an abundance of candor it is my disagreeable to adjudge as not wholly inconsistent with the performance of Mr. Cobb in the role of Becalming Trump Whisperer. Cobb said those things, I read 'em myself and tonight, less than a week after the Becalmer spoke, it is looking more probable than not that Flim Flam Flynn, TRUMP'S FIRST NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR, is going to, in popular parlance, "turn state's evidence." See, that wasn't a good plan.
Thus the day care staff at Mar-a-Lago must needs check immediatamente if they hear a thump on the floor emanating from Trump's bridal suite. If they are fortunate they will only hear a series of toilet flushes which can be temporarily remedied with industrial strength imodium.
As for Mr. Cobb. Our humane instincts flow to anyone who may face death by slicing or by anti-aircraft fire, Trump's choice, as soon as the morrow, but the instinct gets overruled by reason in the highest life form, which is why Trump is such an "instinctual" person, and I must say in an abundance of non-empathetic candor that if it were credibly reported to me that Ty Cobb was on fire right outside my condominium door, from which I am perhaps twenty feet away as I pen these sweet nothings, I should not trouble myself to arise from my desk chair and traverse that expanse to open the door to piss on Ty Cobb to extinguish the flames engulfing and about to extinguish him. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
