Friday, June 14, 2019

It was just last night that Toronto won the True North its first NBA title. I had to check, I wasn't sure. Not from the utter lack of coverage. That was just the most beautiful, captivating team I can remember who they defeated, you know? It was a HUMONGOUS upset, you know? Poof!

What am I supposed to do now? I have half of June, all of July and more than a week into August to do...what? Pull wings off flies? My murder trial pled. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Males with time on their hands...you don’t want males with time on their hands. Bad things happen when males have time on their hands.

Before I got involved in trial preparation I was cogitating on a hilarious day dream to get a group of fellows together who would ambush anally rape male Trump supporters. It would be like that Louis CK skit where he's at the ATM. "Oh, jeezus, a faggot just fucked me in the ass." "Oh my God, I was waiting for a subway and it happened again! I got to get home."

Louis had a companion skit which just set my synapses synapsing. A friend says, "What would you do if you could go back in time?" And then answers his own question, "I'd go back and kill Hitler." Snore. Louis had a much better idea. "I wouldn't kill Hitler. I'd rape him. That's all it would take! 'Mein Fuhrer, invade Poland?!" "Naw, I don't feel very good, I think I'll just take a shower."

Anyway. My idea would be a piece of cake. We, Patriotic United Rapists of Male Trump Supporters (PURMTS), would stake out one of the Low Lifes, two of us. One to hold the Low Life down, one to make love to his anoose and then wham, bam, thank you scum we would vamoose. The Low Lifes would have NO IDEA. And little inclination to report it to the gendarme. I mean, “Two men, one of them a well-endowed Negro, Oh! (sob), they, they made me their bitch.” Not many guys gonna do that. And we could make a hilarious short video, “Oooh!”, would be the only speaking part for the Scum but I GUARANTEE YOU we would get some who would be into it: “Oh yes, you brutes, do me like the piece of white trash I am!” We would then post the video on Twitter.

I think that'd be enough. We wouldn't have to kill them or even hurt them, just humiliate them. Especially, like in Louis's skit if we did a couple of them twice. Word would get around. Mother fuckers wouldn't know which way to turn. Make 'em think twice about going to the polls in 2020!

Anyway, maybe I'll go back to PURMTS, at least that would be a socially useful project. Otherwise, I don't know what to do.