Updated with the actual lines posted by the House as of 10/20 9 a.m.
I neither won nor lost last week. I have no history.
To not play is to play. I must have an abiding conviction in order to play.
It is late in the season. There is no luck. The House is wiser than you are and has more information than you do.
I will have fun.
Top 25, home teams first:
As an exercise, I'm going to try this on for size.What do I think the line will be before I see it?
Appalachian State -#14 Coastal Carolina. I don't know, CC -10? App State is tough, almost shoulda beat UMG. Tough (and picturesque) venue. I don't know these teams. I would never take a future on this game.
#21 Smoo-Tulsa. No idea. Will not play.
Navy-#2 Cincy. I don't know, Cincy -21? I don't know Navy. Won't play.
Kansas-#3 OU. I fucked up last week on the OU-TCU game. Although Lincoln Riley said earlier in the week he wasn't sure who he would start at QB he had subbed Caleb Williams for Spencer Rattler, by popular demand, in the Texas game. Rattler had had a very uneven season up to that point. I had this information and forgot! What if...You're a masochist like Uncle Alf, huh? I'm not. I also think I still would have taken TCU and the points. The "Horny Toads' and I L.'d. Kansas is fucking awful. Home field advantage? Only if the players' families yell really loud, i.e. none. OU-25. [-38.5]
#6 Meeshagan-Northwestern. "Mildcats" 3-3. Ooh, Dook beat them. In Durham. Got destroyed by Nebraska. Beat Rutgers pretty good in...Where does NW play? Somewhere in Illinois. Hmm. Mich. is overrated, I think the money will be on them, MI-15.[-23.5]
#7 PSU-Illinoise. Illinoise is awful. 2-5 with wins over Neb. and Charlotte, L's to UTSA at home, got killed by Virginny down there, lost to MARYLAND, at home too, at Purdue, got killed by Wisc in Champlain. Pa-the-tic. Now. However. But. I must needs not make the same mistook here that I did last week with OU. I don't know this yet, but there's, probably a better than even chance that James Franklin's gonna have to play what's-his-name, the backup, in this game. If you're James Illinoise as your next game is R&R for Sean Clifford. If he starts Clifford in this game...James could do that, that's the kind of brain freeze Dez Nutz has. So my prediction on the line, which is all this is right now, is contingent. If a healthy Clifford plays PSU -20...3, -23. If the other guy plays, man...That is really a tough call. What the hell, -18. [-23.5. As of this post time PSU has made no decision if Sean Clifford will start Saturday.]
Army-#16 Woke Forest. Army? I have to fucking research Army? Oh bother. They're 4-2.Of course they haven't played anybody. Got hung by the Balls 28-16, did play Wisc. tough in Madison. Of course, Woke would be undefeated, of course. Ah. Course they haven't played anybody. Old Dominions, "Norfolk" "State", Half-Ass U, did smoke the "Cadavers" in Charlottesville 37-17, only beat Lewisville by 3 in wherever it is Woke plays, beat the 'Cuse by the obligatory 3 points in the empty dome. I can't believe the House or any other investors are that impressed by Woke. And Army's a team that probably runs the snot out of the ball, straight up the middle, option, eats time, just pound, pound, pound, make cannon fodder. Woke-7. [-3]
#25 Purdue-Wisc. It seems like Wisc. has been part of like five other games so far. Know they struggled at home against Army. "Boogs" are 3-3. W.'s--Eastern Michigan, Illinoise, Army. L.'s--PSU, ND, MI, all three losses at home and they got muirdalized by ND and the "'Eens." Boy, the "Boilers" made some hay with the haystacks last week, huh? Hoo doggie. "Boilers" 4-2. Ah! Common opponents: 'Due L. Notre Dame 27-13 in South Bend, Boogs, L Notre Dame 41-13 in Madison; 'Due W. Illinoise 13-9 in West Lafayette, Boogs W. Illinoise 24-0 in Champlain. Don't get a real feel from the commons. Um, um,um, um...Purdue-3. [WI-3]
#23 "Hail to Pitt, Hail to Pitt, every loyal son/ Hail to Pitt, Hail to Pitt, till the victory's won"-Clemson. Would not bet this, will not bet this: too emotional. I do think the "Panthers" will win, I do think there will be a line for them to cover. What's my line?...What was last week? Are you kidding me, 28-7 at Va. Tech, KILLED them. A balanced offense with only two more pass attempts than rushes? Iz Izzy for real? Did Bill Fralic (God rest his immense soul) come back from the dead and make a guest appearance? Stout D. Even if Iz was a flash in the pan there is NO way Clemson will hold Kenny and the Picketeers to under three TD's. And if Pitt plays defense like they did last week, Clem's gonna get shut out or kick a FG or two. I think the House and investors see these two teams a similar way. So where will Vegas set the line?...Pitt-7. [-3]
Are we almost done?
#12 Old Miss.-LSU. Oxford's gonna be rockin' and rollin'! The Lane Train's a chuggin'! And the "Chinese Bandits" have a lame duck coach. MS-10...No, 8, MS-8...Maybe 10. CHOOSE! ARRIGHT! Sheesh, you're so demanding. What are you, Hitler? -10 okay, are you happy now? [-9.5]
UCLA-#10 Oregon...to be continued, I'm too tired.
