NBA Theory

The Ewing Theory (Dave Cirilli, mid-1990's) was that the New York "Knicks" inexplicably played better when their star Patrick Ewing didn't.

On one side, the AP write-up,

"LeBron James' return from injury spoiled by Bulls' phenomenal effort in 146-115 win over Lakers"

reveals a modern Ewing theory.

But the "phenomenon" is on the other side.

Fucking Male Cows went to La-La and stampeded Lu-Lu, Bron-Bron, and Rui Hachimura first game together in a while. The fucking MALE COWS, ninth in the Least--who were supposably (intentional) tanking--won their seventh game in nine by routing the "Lakers" of the West by 31 in L.A.

AP says the fucking Male Cows are looking like a "post-season threat".

This is NBA Theory

The NBA season is so goddamned long it's like a dog's year. Strange life forms develop over its course, alternative universes appear, rare crystals, or madness, are created by its pressure. Every night in every game, if you look deeply enough, something significant is occurring. You look up and the Cavalry have lost 4L. You look over there and it's the running of the Male Cows. The NBA is the most fascinating sports league to me.