...that we have forgotten how to play TWO BIGS? That used to be every GM's and every coach's wet dream. The Twin Towers!
Are we so advanced in our thinking, so all broke out with genius that we forget that this is the only game ever invented that is played in the AIR?
Have we forgotten as so much quaint Middle English knowledge concepts such as the Principle of Verticality?
Do we completely not see anymore that there is an ADVANTAGE to having two really tall, really strong guys near that circle attached to that clear board thing TEN FEET up in the AIR?
Have we really completely thought through the notion that it would be so swell to have a whole team of really tall, really strong guys play at least 23' away from the metal circle TEN FEET up that we...DEMAND they play there?
Eric Spoelstra, this is what I would like you to do. Before you go to bed, jack off all over your face, you'll sleep better.
Then when you wake up tomorrow after you wash your face, when you go to practice I want you to rhetorically ask Giannis Antetokounmpo if he is not Greek? Then I want you to tell him,
"You see this? I want you to see this round thing as a TURK. I want you to fully internalize that for 84' on the court this Turk is your sworn, natural enemy who will kill you if you touch him. I firmly instruct you not to touch, hold, dribble, pass, or otherwise play with this Turk unless you are within ten feet of the metal circle thing and the TURK is passed to you by one of our GUARDS whose job it is, NOT YOURS, to bring the Turk up court, to handle the Turk smartly and deftly, to ZIP him around the court whoosh! before passing it to you or Mr. Adebayo who WILL be at nearly all times, and never elsewhere without express, written permission from me, within ten feet of the metal circle thing with the beard."
"Now Klay Thompson, where are ya fella, there you are, come up to the front, there you go. Klay, goo' buddy, lookee here, I have something for you, a MAP.
"Klay, you see that orange, pregnant-looking thing over there to the right, under the big lavender thing? That Klay, is China. They have a basketball league there, called, I am not making this up, the Chinese Basketball Association. GO THERE KLAY."
"As for you other two fine young men, Mssrs Mitchell and Wiggins, you were not real good at the game of basketball tonight. Now it hurts me as much as it will you to say this but if you don't significantly improve at the game of basketball I will rip your lungs out.
"Got it? Everybody got it? Okay, let's get to work and let's be particularly careful out there."
