Last Saturday was a good day for clubs nicknamed panthers, this week, not so much.
The professional ice hockey "Panthers" held Ted Cruz' Calgary "Flames" to two field goals in a low-scoring 6-0 loss Wednesday. The high-flying, short-pants basketball team of scholars from the City of Champions went to Louisville where they got embarrassed 59-41 on Thursday. And the National Concussion League's cats won.
In professional basketball the "Warriors" played like the "Peaceniks," losing twice, once at Denver, once in Detroit where they got done blown out. They now have a mere 37 wins and 4 losses. San Antonio has won ten straight, including an intense win in the Alamo over Cleveland who have won nine of ten and sit third in the league standings behind the two aforesaid. The Miami "Heat" have lost four of six on a long road trip and are currently contending low, not high, in the Eastern Conference playoff standings.
In short-pants football, God's Righteous Team of Angels in Blue waxed Child Porn yesterday 4-zip. Aguerooo had twooo. Those foxy "Foxes" of Lie-chester were held to a 1-1 draw by those villainous "Villains" of Asti Spumanti in a "battle" of first and last place clubs. The "Striped Prison Shirtings" beat the "Hammerheads" at the Prison 2-1, earning their get-out-of-relegation-free card. They now sit 17th in the table. Swine Chelsea scored "at the death" to tie Everton. The "Ex-Eva Carneiros" have not lost since Mou was sacked. Stick host the Arse later today, a draw or a win will send the "Gunners" into first place, City are currently second, and Manchester "Buccaneers" (6th place) go to This is Anfield (9th).
In scholarly tackle football the national championship game with the handsome Vulva perfume trophy going to the winner hasn't been played yet, I lost track of it after New Year's Eve and don't know when it's scheduled. Soon, I would think.
In the pros yesterday, the Hairy Boner "Cardinal" beat the Green Bay "Cheeseheads" and the Kansas City "Chieves" lost. Today the Seattle "Starbucks" play at the "Panthers," and the Picksburgh "Stillers" play at the Denver "Rambunctious Horses."
On mention of rambunctious horses we segue to the Sport of Kings. Upon information and belief the undersigned avers that the following could happen "Only in England." 102 years ago at the Epsom Downs racecourse one "Emily" "Davison," a suffragette, had the capital idea, this is the belief of her supporters, to duck under the guard rail, that's Auntie Em circled in red about to make her "move,"
and enter directly into the pathway of several animals weighing one-half ton apiece and galloping along at 35-40 mph,
in order to present a flag or a petition, only Emily and God know and He ain't sayin', to the rider of Anmer, the horse of her Sovereign, King George V. She dodged the first one but come Anmer and,
as Anmer had no chance to slow down to accept the offering and knocked the bats out of Emily's belfry and knocked Emily clean into instantaneous and permanent oblivion.
Thus the fate of Emily Davison. Happy Sunday-that-is-the-new-Saturday-when-Monday-isn't-a-work-day to all sufferers and suffergettes.
The professional ice hockey "Panthers" held Ted Cruz' Calgary "Flames" to two field goals in a low-scoring 6-0 loss Wednesday. The high-flying, short-pants basketball team of scholars from the City of Champions went to Louisville where they got embarrassed 59-41 on Thursday. And the National Concussion League's cats won.
In professional basketball the "Warriors" played like the "Peaceniks," losing twice, once at Denver, once in Detroit where they got done blown out. They now have a mere 37 wins and 4 losses. San Antonio has won ten straight, including an intense win in the Alamo over Cleveland who have won nine of ten and sit third in the league standings behind the two aforesaid. The Miami "Heat" have lost four of six on a long road trip and are currently contending low, not high, in the Eastern Conference playoff standings.
In short-pants football, God's Righteous Team of Angels in Blue waxed Child Porn yesterday 4-zip. Aguerooo had twooo. Those foxy "Foxes" of Lie-chester were held to a 1-1 draw by those villainous "Villains" of Asti Spumanti in a "battle" of first and last place clubs. The "Striped Prison Shirtings" beat the "Hammerheads" at the Prison 2-1, earning their get-out-of-relegation-free card. They now sit 17th in the table. Swine Chelsea scored "at the death" to tie Everton. The "Ex-Eva Carneiros" have not lost since Mou was sacked. Stick host the Arse later today, a draw or a win will send the "Gunners" into first place, City are currently second, and Manchester "Buccaneers" (6th place) go to This is Anfield (9th).
In scholarly tackle football the national championship game with the handsome Vulva perfume trophy going to the winner hasn't been played yet, I lost track of it after New Year's Eve and don't know when it's scheduled. Soon, I would think.
In the pros yesterday, the Hairy Boner "Cardinal" beat the Green Bay "Cheeseheads" and the Kansas City "Chieves" lost. Today the Seattle "Starbucks" play at the "Panthers," and the Picksburgh "Stillers" play at the Denver "Rambunctious Horses."
On mention of rambunctious horses we segue to the Sport of Kings. Upon information and belief the undersigned avers that the following could happen "Only in England." 102 years ago at the Epsom Downs racecourse one "Emily" "Davison," a suffragette, had the capital idea, this is the belief of her supporters, to duck under the guard rail, that's Auntie Em circled in red about to make her "move,"
in order to present a flag or a petition, only Emily and God know and He ain't sayin', to the rider of Anmer, the horse of her Sovereign, King George V. She dodged the first one but come Anmer and,
contact, we have contact.
Emily's mission must be adjudged a FAIL
Thus the fate of Emily Davison. Happy Sunday-that-is-the-new-Saturday-when-Monday-isn't-a-work-day to all sufferers and suffergettes.
