Saturday, May 13, 2017

30 Day Sex Challenge

You’ve probably heard about the various 30 day challenges circling through the cyber world these days. The 30 Ab Challenge, the 30 Day Beach Body Challenge, the 30 Day Fitness Challenge...

[Actually, no, missed those memos.]

These challenges, in combination with a Huffington Post article about sex and married couples, motivated me to try my own 30 Day Challenge: the 30 Day Sex Challenge. 

[Once a month?! Sheet. Can do that in my sleep...Have done that in my sleep, actually. Felt like I was sleeping anyway.]

For 30 days straight, for one entire month, I will have sex with my husband every single day. No rest days. No injury days. No days off.

[Wait. What.]

Yep, we will have sex every day,

[Oh no we will NOT. Darling, let me take your crack pipe.]

even on days when I want to kill him.

[ESPECIALLY not on those days!]

Even on days when I haven’t slept more than four hours. 

[What about ME? What about when I haven't slept four hours or want to kill you? Between those killing days, there goes the month!]

Even on days when I feel absolutely disgusting. 

[Heh-heh-heh-heh. My love, Poopsie, this is all very humorous...NOOOOOO!!!!!]

Even on days when the kids are sick. Because I never back down from a challenge. 

[I DO! Show me a challenge and I'll show you assholes and elbows. I'm the 100 yard dash world champeen in running from challenges.]

So, without further ado, I give you, that time my husband and I had sex every day for a month…..

The Challenge:

Me: “I want you to have sex with me every day for a month. Like, every day, we have to have sex at least once. And we can’t cheat. And we can’t make up days by doing it twice on weekends. It’s for work. So whatcha say?”

[Madam, I will not do this thing you are talking about, I will not. I will NOT!]