Q: "What is a simple analogy that describes [the Higgs boson's] effect?


A: "Compare Higgs bosons to groupies mobbing a celebrity. The other particles are the celebrities, desperately trying to move but slowed by autograph-seekers. Higgs bosons don't have pens, but the attention they give to the other particles slows them, creating inertia."
                                                                           -USA Today, "Physicists Break Down Concept of "God Particle,"  "distilled explanations" from physicists, including Paul Padley of Rice University.



They need to distill that again. Maybe triple-distill it. They need to stop drinking what they distill.