Ladies and gentlemen, friends and enemies, please join me in giving a Public Occurrences welcome to Ohio State University president Gordon Gee!

Gordon Gee has a small pee-pee, eats paste made of nose dirt and wears bow ties so tight that they constrict the flow of blood to his head resulting in irreversible brain damage. This qualifies Gordon to be president of The Ohio State University. Which is a member of the same "conference," or group, of universities as The Pennsylvania State University and Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey.

Gordon is an asshole.

Today The Associated Press publicized remarks Gordon made at a meeting of Ohio State's "Athletic Council" in December.

On the University of Notre Dame du Lac, which had spurned entreaties of the Big Ten conference in favor of another:

"The fathers are holy on Sunday, and they're holy hell on the rest of the week. You just can't trust those damn Catholics on a Thursday or a Friday, and so, literally, I can say that. Notre Dame wanted to have its cake and eat it, too.”

Literally, he said that.

The athletic supporters tittered. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

On the University of Louisville, which joined the same conference as Notre Dame, Gordon said the Big Ten:

"[would] make certain that we have institutions of like-minded academic integrity. So you won't see us adding Louisville."

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. (En passant, as we French scholars say, when a previous head tackle football coach of Ohio State got hooked up in a scandal and Gordon was asked if he had considered firing him, Gordon said: "No, are you kidding? Let me just be very clear:  I'm hopeful the coach doesn't dismiss me." (pps, the coach was later fired) Ba-da-bump.))

On another conference adding universities, like Notre Dame, that the Big Ten coveted:

"You tell the SEC when they can learn to read and write, then they can figure out what we're doing,"

Ha, etc.

And finally, on the head of his own conference:

"No one admires Jim Delany more than I do. I chaired the committee that brought him here. Jim is very aggressive, and we need to make certain he keeps his hands out of our pockets while we support him."

Ha.

What 

        an 

            asshole.