Happy/Sad-urday.

We resume.

ESPNFC reports that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich wants to make a decision on manager Jose Mourinho based on the Liverpool match Saturday taken in conjunction with the Dynamo Kiev and Stoke matches this week. If the decision is to fire Mourinho the new manager would have the international break to get acclimated in the job.
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Miami Hurricanes– Verified account ‏@MiamiHurricanes

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9:46 AM - 1 Nov 2015

A classless response from a university that has long shamed college athletics by its behavior.
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The Atlantic Coast Conference has determined that last night's kickoff return for touchdown by Miami should not have counted!, that the game officials made four errors in judging the play good, the ACC has suspended the officials for two games but will not overturn the result.

The loss is impactful for Duke, it diminishes Duke's chances of playing for the conference championship.

This is a terrible debacle for Duke, the officials are only human and made mistakes that human beings make; it was a confusing 48-second play with players running all over the place, difficult to follow, yes, yes, all of that, it is a terrible debacle for Duke.
...
And that is all she wrote for this Happy/Sad-urday. Have a fun and safe Halloween night, everybody. October is his-tor-y and it was a banner month for readership at Public Occurrences, 4,017 pageviews, the highest total since March, 129/day. Thanks.
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IOWA STATE :) Texas :(

24-0! INexplicable.
...
The Notre Dame player threw a pass on the final play, probably preceded by a bunch of running around to kill time and then just heaved it down the field or out of bounds. A superb game for both teams. No losers here. Inspired effort by Temple.

GAME OVER: Notre Dame wins 24-20. Don't know what ND did on that final play but they didn't pull a Michigan or Florida State.

4th and one at the ND 44, FIVE SECONDS LEFT. DO NOT PUNT!!

4th and 1 ND at near midfield. DON'T PUNT IRISH! Temple needs a TD.

3rd and 4 ND, 46 seconds left.

Interception ND at their own 36. 2nd and 9.

4th down Temple at their own 47 yard line. 2 yards to gain, 1:40 left to play!

Temple leads 20-17!! Notre Dame has the ball on the Temple...Oh no! ND just scored a touchdown. They lead 24-20 with 2:09 left. Time for Temple but they need a touchdown, a 3-point field goal won't do it.

That's what it was. ESPN's headline:

"8-lateral play gives Miami a 30-27 win over No. 22 Duke"

And the first paragraph on their game summary:

DURHAM, N.C. -- Corn Elder took Miami's eighth lateral of a wild final kickoff return and brought it back 75 yards for a touchdown that gave Miami a 30-27 victory over No. 22 Duke on Saturday night.

Oh! Poor Duke, poor good man, good coach David Cutcliffe.

Holy SHIT! This now is ESPN's summary of Miami's winning touchdown:

(0:00 - 4th) Ross Martin kickoff for 39 yds , Dallas Crawford return for a loss of 5 yards , Corn Elder return for 1 yd , Jaquan Johnson return for a loss of 7 yards , Mark Walton return for 7 yds , Jaquan Johnson return for a loss of 4 yards , Tyre Brady return for a loss of 8 yards , Corn Elder return for a loss of 7 yards , Dallas Crawford return for 6 yds , Corn Elder return for 91 yds for a TD.

It looks like Miami played hot potato with the ball on the kick off. They kept lateraling it from player
to player--losing 30 yards in the process, too!-- but then got the ball into the hands of Corn Elder who
ran it 91 yards for the TD!!!' ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!!! Look at the game clock. The play began with zero seconds left?!!

If that is the truth and the whole truth, OH! THE HUMANITY FOR DUKE!!! Oh my GOD! David Cutcliffe. Duke's coach, is one of the finest gentlemen and coaches in the game. I am glad Miami won but no schadenfreude for Duke and Coach Cutcliffe here, only unendurable freude. Oh!What the fuck happened in the Miami-Duke game???

Temple has scored to tie Notre Dame 17-17 in the fourth quarter. Over 10 minutes left to play.

Okay, now ESPN has a Miami score as the last of the game. They describe it thusly:

K 0:00 R. Martin kick for 39 yds,D. Crawford return for -5 yds,C. Elder return for 1 yd,J. Johnson return for -7 yds,M. Walton return for 7 yds,J. Johnson re

30

27

ESPN, that doesn't tell like the story of how they scored. All the activity they list adds up to minus-four yards.

MIAMI :) Duke :(
My goodness, one week after losing 58-0 at home to Clemson and losing their coach as a result the "Hurricanes" won at 22nd ranked Duke 30-27. God bless the Miami kids. What an inspiring result. I cannot determine what happened that Miami won. ESPN has it as a final bur the last scoring play is given as a Duke touchdown to make it 26-24 Duke. Did Miami run the kickoff back for a TD? I don't know.



It's Football Time in Philadelphia!




And at half time it is ninth-ranked Notre Dame du Lac 14 and Temple du Ghetto 10. GO GHETTO OWLS!


We have basketball scores: OKLAHOMA STATE :) 70 Texas Tech 53; CLEMSON :) 56 North Carolina State 41.

"IOWA:), Iowa, Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall..."  "Maryland, :( my Maryland...", you lost again.

FLORIDA :)  "Jaw-ja, :(  Jaw-ja, Jaw-ja on my mind..." but barely on the scoreboard.

Two weeks ago Georgia Tech :( lost to Pittsburgh on a last minute field goal; last week they beat Florida State on a last second blocked field goal, today Tech reverted to Wreck and lost to VIRGINIA, :) two wins-five losses before today.

PURDUE :) Nebraska :(

Purdue is one of the worst teams in the country, had a 1-6 record coming into this game and they laid
55 on the "Cornhuskers" today. Coach Mike Riley is a very nice man and had success at Oregon State, a very tough place to have any kind of success, before being hired to replace Bo Pelini at the end of last season. Pelini was an insulting, vulgar, temperamental man but he won, Pelini won at least nine games in each of his seven seasons at Nebraska and never lost more than four. Today was Reilly's sixth loss, with only three wins. Riley brought the pass-happy style of football he used at Oregon State to traditional run-oriented, defense-minded Nebraska. Today his quarterback passed for over 400 yards and four touchdowns and four interceptions also. It is a clash of styles reminiscent of Bill Callahan's disastrous time as head coach of Nebraska. The man who hired Riley is Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst who Nebraska hired away from the very un-Nebraska University of Miami in 2012. I don't know why Nebraska ever veered away from its cultural and football roots but they have done it twice in ten years.


I have read that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich does not want to axe manager Jose Mourinho, partly because he just signed Mourinho to a new contract this past summer and would owe him the remainder on the contract. I thinks it's for $6 million per year. Five or six years, I'd guess. Understandable! But really? How about Mourinho resigning? He doesn't want to walk away from $6 mil per. Understandable, too. This is the "death embrace." I read today that the Chelsea fans were vociferously behind Mou today with signs and chants. Very surprised to read that. Twenty-eight percent of the season...that's not much. Time but no signs. No signs of a turn around. The death embrace continues.


WATFORD :) West Ham United :( West Ham is in third place! Tough, tough loss for the Hammerheads here at home to a club in 13th place. Bad loss.

LEICESTER CITY :) West Bromwich Albion :( The Foxes are in fifth place! Only one point behind ManU. Their club doctor as I recall was pictured only on the golf course. Go links.

Manchester United :| Crystal Palace :| Draw. At Old Trafford. Bad result for United. Second draw of the week for them, the first to Championship side Middlesbrough in the Cap1, and both 0-0. They slip to fourth, five points behind City. United are a very up-and-down club.

GOD'S RIGHTEOUS ANGELS IN BLUE :) Norwich :( City and Arsenal are level on points and City top the EPL table on a net four-goal advantage. My Arsenal friend predicted before the season that the title would come down to these two clubs.

ARSENAL :) Swansea :(
The Gunners murdered the Swans in Swales Wales.

LIVERPOOL :) Chelsea :(

Jurgen Klopp's first four matches as manager of LFC went 0-0, 1-1, 1-1, 1-0. Today he took his side to Stamford Bridge and thrashed the defending league champions 3-1.

There were rumors this week past that Jose Mourinho would be managing this match for his job. Twenty-eight percent of the season has now been played, Chelsea are in 15th place with six defeats and 11 points from 11 matches and were soundly beaten at home by a desultory Liverpool club. What more might Roman Abramovich require? For the survival of each cleave asunder man and club in this death embrace. Good God.

Thursday

Two scholarly tackle football games tonight involving ranked teams, 3-3 West Virginia at 7-0, fifth-ranked Texas Christian. Poor West Virginia, I feel so bad for them. These two schools are in the same conference now, they were, briefly in the same conference a few years ago. The Big East folded, a victim of conference realignment and WVU was left searching for a new home. It did not have quite the academic reputation, nor the political clout, to gain an invitation to join the Atlantic Coast Conference and the money wasn't enough for it to join the new American Athletic Conference so WVU scrambled and found a landing in the Texas-centric Big XII Conference. It was a hard landing. It's nearest conference rival is 870 miles away. The time demands placed on the West Virginia kids playing sports is outlandish, the travel expense for the university is extraordinary. There is not a natural rival. They might as well be playing in China. TCU landed on its feet in the Big XII where it's got three other universities just in Texas to play and two more in adjacent Oklahoma. So here it is, the not quite backyard brawl between Morgantown, West Virginia and Fort Worth, Texas. This should not be much of a game, TCU is far the better football team this year.

The other game tonight is 6-1 North Carolina at 6-1, #23, Pittsburgh, and this should be a good and close game. As just one idiot blogger I was surprised that North Carolina was not ranked when the Sunday polls came out. They have won six straight games and being ranked would have imbued this game with more luster. Then I was very surprised to see the betting line, North Carolina was favored from the beginning and is currently a three point pick, despite being unranked and playing a ranked opponent on the road.

How to explain this? Different folks, different strokes. The folks who make the polls are professional pencils. The folks who make the lines are professional bookies. Put your money where your mouths are, pencils. The same cognitive dissonance existed last week when #5 Utah went to unranked Southern California who had just fired their coach. USC was made a 7 point favorite! And they won by 20.

Finally, from 1,000 miles away I took it as given that this game would be sold out. There is so much excitement about Pitt football right now, this is a nationally televised game in the uncluttered Thursday night spotlight, I never gave a thought that this Event wouldn't energize the 'Burgh to fill up the Ketchup Bottle. The Ketchup Bottle is only going to be 3/4 filled, apparently.

The glass slipper has got to come off sometime, Pitt is not going to finish 11-1, might as well be tonight. No, it is not going to be tonight. Often wrong, always certain: Pittsburgh will win the football game.
...

They're playing with William Pitt the Elder's signature in pink on their helmets.

They're the Pink Panthers tonight. I love the Pink Panther.

Pitt, that's not it.

...

Pitt, I wish to have speaks with you.
...
Cato, you fool, this is neither the time nor the place!
...
NORTH CAROLINA :) Pittsburgh :(

TEXAS CHRISTIAN :) West Virginia :(

That concludes this special Thursday edition of Happy/Sad-urday. Until Saturday, arrivederci.

Islam Murders Fourth Secular Blogger in Bangladesh.

Faisal Arefin Dipan, the name is spelled various ways, was hacked to death in his office in Dhaka. Dipan published the work of Avijit Roy, a Bangladeshi-American blogger who was also hacked to death by Islam in February. Four secular bloggers have been murdered by Islam in 2015. Three others were similarly attacked today, one of whom, Ahmed Rahim Tutul, is in critical condition. Al Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent took responsibility on twitter:

"These two atheist-apostates have published books that have attacked the honor of the Prophet and mocked him."

However another Islamist group, Ansarullah Bangla Team (ABT) committed the previous murders which AQIS also took credit for so Fuck Islam and you've got it covered.

Now:
-arkani serbia (?)

Today:

-chelsea female doctor

-Kenya 2
-Bosnia & Herzegovina 1

-"Yeah, I know that came out of nowhere," 18.

Club Doctors of the National Football League.

We start with the Pittsburgh "Stillers" and club doctor...

? Eva, is that you? Mon cherie?

Uh...Full face, por favor.

Non. Passing resemblance, though. Gave me a start.

Chelsea's troubles began with Jose Mourinho's boorish firing of Dr. Carneiro.

She is truly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Look at that face.

Look at those dramatic eyes.

Look at that beautiful mouth.

Look at...

Russian Passenger Plane Crashes in Sinai, All 224 Killed.

The plane, operated by airline Kogalymavia was flying at cruising altitude from the resort of Sharm al-Sheikh to St. Petersburg when it descended rapidly and vertically before crashing. Beyond an initial statement of a "technical fault" no cause has been determined. Russian president Vladimir Putin has declared a day of mourning.

PUBLIC NOTICE

The Fall time change goes into effect tonight at 8:07 in America. Clocks must be set ahead two hours and 8:07 pm will thus become 10:07 pm. The World Series baseball game tonight has been canceled.

Happy Halloween boys and ghouls, big and close to the ground. Halloween on a Saturday! Man, there's gonna be some partyin' tonight! 

Yeah, I know that came out of nowhere.

I was thinking of writing another post on Jeb! just now--In the shower, too!--and I thought, "I am so sick of Bush's," and then I thought of Bill and Hillary Clinton. The only good thing (for me) about having another Bush run for president--This is the end of the Bush bloodline, isn't it?--in a competitive nomination is that it has distracted me from the inevitability of another Clinton being nominated for president. Because you see, while the Bush's annoy me I do not loathe the Bush's and I loathe the Clinton's. Loathe. I loathe them. Loathe, loathe, loathe.

There is humor in having another dyslexic man run for president, there is fascination with the American public's weakness for dyslexia,--Who knew?--there is glee in John Ellis stepping all over his dick, there is wonder that the Republicans are doing ONE THING RIGHT in resisting the siren call of dyslexia AT LONG LAST, there is mortification in whom they are swooning over now, hope that even Republicans may, I said may, turn away from America Uber Alles, and there is comfort that whomever of the benighted dozen others they choose he or she will likely be CRUSHED in the general election.

So yeah, there is all of that. And after all of that it sinks in, the realization breaks like an evil dawn after an amusing dream, of just how fucked I am for the only alternative to Hillary Clinton is Jeremy Corbyn. 

I am so sick of Clintons I could puke.

It's Friday night, hotcakes. 

"Giant Inflatable Pumpkin Rolls Through Arizona Streets."-USA Today.

He's runnin' hard, in Pennsylvania earlier this week, now in 'Zona.

"Roman Polanski Won't Be Expedited After Polish Court Rejects US Request."-New York Times.

Good, let him wait.

It's Friday, Joe's and Josephine's.

I also watched about three minutes of a post-debate interview of Bush by a CNN reporter, itself styled negatively by CNN, something like a "testy" interchange. Maybe it got testy or whatever in the other two minutes but it was not in the three minutes that I watched. What struck me was Bush was still hitting the missed Senate votes note even after the reporter told him social media was not treating that as a high note for him. He still thought that was the right tune to be singing. That is a problem. It is evidence that Jeb doesn't hear well. Messages are not accurately processed going into his brain in addition to not being processed adequately in the brain before being disgorged through the mouth.

When I read about the exchange with Rubio this morning my instant reaction was, "This was cooked up in the Bush Mind when he gathered with 41 and 43 in Texas over the weekend." It was a collective Bush epiphany. Service, duty, missed votes, dereliction of duty: The Bush's are all about those first two and no Bush ever would do the last. The Bush Mind did not process that that is a limp dick message.

Republican voters in New Hampshire and South Carolina, and caucus-goers in Iowa, do not give a shit how many votes a senator from Florida missed or attended. Marco Rubio is running for president not for reelection to the Senate from Florida. Republican primary and caucus participants are concerned with...the vision thing, they want to be inspired, they want a candidate who puts lead in their pencil, not a pencil-pushing, wonkish executive. This is only partly about resumes, this is killing the job interview. The best prepared man ever for the presidency turned out to be a middling, failed president, George Herbert Walker Bush. It is clear so far this election season that Republican rank-and-file consider experience counter-indicated in a candidate, see Trump, Carson, Fiorina.

The "Missed Votes" attack is not going to work this year, the Bush's don't get that message, and it has not worked in presidential campaigns historically. In 1960 it was swatted away to more devastating effect than Marco Rubio did last night. Seated right beside each other on the dais Lyndon Johnson first and then John F. Kennedy made brief argument on why the one and not the other should receive the Democratic nomination for president. LBJ said JFK had missed a bunch of votes in the Senate. Kennedy stood up at his turn and said that it was true that he had missed lots of votes and that was why he was supporting LBJ to continue in his position as Senate Majority Leader.

That was the end of that tune.

I have now watched the Jeb!-Rubio exchange. Only that, the only part of the debate I watched. Rubio won the exchange, was the stronger of the two. One idiot blogger's opinion: I did not think it was the disaster for Bush it has been painted to be nor "Marco Rubio's Moment" as one headline has it. "Senator,...you're no Jack Kennedy," now that was a disaster. Bush-Quayle still won.

A police officer tries to disperse a crowd after a fight and ends up in a dance off with a neighborhood girl. Said the teenager afterward, "Some police officers are really cool." Yes, they are. And some are really good dancers! Amazing. Amazing, amazing officer. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IS5XSw8daRw

"He's not very good at this."

That, from the Washington Post, is the most cogent sentence written about Jeb Bush in the Republican debate last night. None of the Bush's are or ever have been silver-tongued. Remember 41 looking at his watch, stumbling over the price of socks in debate with Clinton? 43 pitching one right into Vladimir Putin's wheelhouse on democracy in Iraq?

They can't even deliver canned lines. 41 again, "That answer was about as clear as Boston Harbor," and last night Jeb threw a rehearsed head hunter at Marco Rubio, "Marco you miss so many votes in the Senate, what, do you think you're working a French work week?" Oh! That'll get 'em, yeah, yeah, yeah, I LOVE the French work week reference, the audience will go NUTS at that one. Ha-ha-ha. "You supported John McCain in 2008 when he was criticized for missing so many votes in the Senate. The only reason you're doing this now is because somebody told you to attack me."

Which is true! The audience applauded vigorously--at Rubio's practiced comeback.

Honest to goodness, ladies and gentlemen, I do not understand the high regard in which the Bushes are held by the American people. 41 was a failed presidential candidate, lost to Reagan, inherited the GOP nomination from Reagan, was a failed president, and lost reelection to Clinton. He ranks exactly in the middle of the rankings of all presidents, 22nd out of 44. Only eight years later his ne'er-do-well son with almost the identical name scandalizes even his mother by running for president and the American people go, "Oh yeah! I remember his dad, let's give those blood lines another whirl." Another failed Bush president, this one 37th out of 44. Now John Ellis. Amazing.

Do you realize, sir, that you have been the face of scholars everywhere for almost 400 years? That with your vacuous mien you remind more of Mr. Dick of David Copperfield than "A Scholar?" Huh?

                                                                     

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2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

1. University of Paris...8.

2. University of Berne. Love that one.

3. Worcester State College.

4. Res ipsa loquitur.

5. Ditto.

6. Etat de Geneve. The entire etat! Wow.

Search keywords. Today:

-upskirt police

:(

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Ich bin ein Berliner.

Mugabe Rejects Confucius Peace Prize!

"NORAD Tracked Military Blimp That Drifted Over Pennsylvania."-CBS

"Runaway U.S. military blimp wreaks havoc in Pennsylvania."-Reuters

"Loose military blimp lands in Pennsylvania."-CNN

My son just texted me that Pablo Zabaleta was just stretchered off the pitch in a match against Crystal Palace. In the Capital One Cup. Yesterday, Arsenal lost to "Sheffield" "Wednesday," not even Tuesday, and lost two key players to injury. And Swine Chelsea also lost. Both in the same competition.

Death to the Capital One Cup. It is so worthless. There are so many competitions that European players participate in, in England the top clubs talk about "four competitions," the EPL, the FA Cup, the Capital One, and the UCL. Then there's the "international break" where the players go off for a week or two weeks and play for their home countries. Kun Aguero got hurt in that. Which caused me to throw my phone (in cyber space) in exasperation. And the African whatever it's called. That's like a month! City loses Yaya Toure every time to that damned thing for a month!

These "others" break up the rhythm of the season, you risk club embarrassment to the Sheffield Wednesdays and injury to key players. They are the most vexing part of being a soccer follower.

UPDATE: Middlesbrough of the Championship just beat ManU of the Premiership 2-0 on a shootout in the Cap1. Let's have a Middlesbrough-Wednesday final, huh?

If I think about it I'm going to put on some Bach when I know I'm dying. You cannot be bummed listening to Bach. Music to die for. Ba-da-bum.

Runaway blimp on the ground and secure in central Pennsylvania, police say.-Fox News.

Have you ever thought what you'd be thinking about if you knew you were dying? I think about that sometimes. I would be really bummed out. Some people are not! The grandfather of a friend of mine was on his death bed, my friend asked him, "Grandpa, what are you thinking about?" His grandfather replied, "I'm not thinking about the stock market!" Love that one.

My grandmother, in the years leading up to her death, kept saying, "I'm so tired, Benjamin." My mother was thinking about a premonition she had had throughout her life. My dad didn't know he was dying, we didn't tell him.

Guys who make that final charge in battle, supposedly, they're thinking about their loved ones.

I guess it depends how close you think you are and if you're in pain. Like, I'm not in any pain and I was just listening to the country music station that my daughter and I used to listen to before she went to college and I was thinking, "I'm dying" (I'm not) and then I thought, "I'm not going to be able to listen to country music anymore." Not even Bach. Weird. I'm not a country music aficionado either, had never heard the song before and it didn't particularly grab me. I was bummed, though. I don't think I'm going to be thinking about country music when I'm really dying but I think I'll be bummed.

Gettin' the Band Back Together Again.

                                               "You didn't invite me." "I did invite you."

Has it really been since July? John Kerry, Sergei Lavrov and Javad Zarif, U.S., Russia, Iran, will be talkin' and walkin' again Friday in Vienna. That other guy I don't know who he his. They're gettin' together again along with some others to discuss Syria. Both Iran and Russia are Assad allies. Best of luck!

Shoes match today! Check and double check.

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Swine today. More swine than recently. Come back geese.

The NBA season starts tonight, the NHL season is already several games old and we have to deal with execrable baseball. It's bad enough that baseball ruins every summer, now they're halfway to Christmas! Go rain. I hope the Boys of Late October have to play in late December with icicles hanging off their frigging caps. I hope they FREEZE! Don't like baseball.

Heat: Persian Gulf Won't Be Habitable Within The Century Due To Rising Temperatures.-HNGN.

Boy. Look at the affected countries. Boy. How many years in a century?

I'm taking this with a grain of sand. The "Heat" also say they expect to be contenders in the NBA this year.

Fortunately only one bailiff in one courtroom noticed and said anything to me about it after I had been in court fifteen minutes.

I just noticed that I am wearing a different shoe on each foot.

Those Crazy Republicans!

"I don't get it," says Donald Trump. Four polls in Iowa, one nationally, have Ben Carson supplanting Trump as the favorite. Trump had led the polls for 100 straight days.

I don't get it either. Maybe there's nothing to get, i.e. maybe the polls are meaningless, maybe Republican voters are not taking pollsters seriously when they're asked, maybe they are just being frivolous, mischievous frivolous, maybe they are fucking with the pollsters and the people who read the polls because I don't believe Ben Carson is going to win the Iowa caucuses, not even if the Iowa caucuses were held today, I don't think Ben Carson is going to win New Hampshire, I don't believe he, or Donald Trump, is going to win the GOP nomination.

Changing the batteries in your electric toothbrush makes it go really fast.

Processed Meats Are 'Carcinogenic To Humans,' Says WHO

I just swallowed a basketball, that's all that is. 

"Processed Meats Are 'Carcinogenic To Humans,' Says WHO.-"Forbes.

Exactly.

"NZ bowel cancer rates 'embarrassing'."-3news.co.nz

Do you have to talk about that while I'm eating my steak?

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Geese today. More geese than usual.

"Ricky Gervais to Host 2016 Golden Globes."-E! Online.

Love that guy.

"HOW AN F STUDENT BECAME AMERICA’S MOST PROLIFIC INVENTOR."-Bloomberg.

You said he was just painting himself in the shower!

"TV Comic Jimmy Morales Wins Guatemala Presidential Runoff."-ABC News.

The British are Interfering! The British are Interfering!

Change, see? No kiss on the mouth.

Prince Mohammed Bin Nawaf Bin Abdulaziz, Saudi Arabia's ambassador to the Court of St. James, penned an article in the Daily Telegraph today warning of "serious repercussions" in state-to-state relations if the Brits don't lay off. What they did?

Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour Party's new Comrade-in-Chief, 

"...used his speech at Labour's annual conference in September to criticize Riyadh over the case of Ali al-Nimr, who has been sentenced to death by crucifixion and beheading after taking part in anti-government protests when he was 17."

BAD Jeremy...How about crucifixion or beheading?

"On Oct. 4, [Prime Minister David] Cameron publicly urged Saudi Arabia not to go ahead with the execution of Nimr."

BAD David.

"...Cameron's spokeswoman said he would [also] intervene in the case of Karl Andree, a 74-year-old British man facing 350 lashes in Saudi Arabia after being caught with home-made wine."

Pick-y, pick-y, pick-y...How about 300 lashes?