Ben, you didn't get no scholarship
(To West Point)
Ev'ry Cadet gets a scholarship
(Id-i-ot)

YOU-U! did not even apply
You be-came an Eli!
What the hell's wrong with that?
Why are you a ding ba-a-a-at?

Ben, you no meet Westy in Motown
(In Motown)
He was not e-ven in Motown then
(Motown then)

THAT'S! something you should have known! Before you wrote your book!
Now you look like a clow-ow-own.

Ben, no one can find your violent past
(Violent past)
I'll match mine against yours any day
(Any day)

THAT'S! not some-thing to brag on! Nor reas-on to be prez! Do you think we are fools? Well, I will drink to tha-a-at.