Friday, July 21, 2017

Dan Gilbert letter on Kyrie Irving

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who hit The Shot that finally brought me the championship I didn't deserve no longer wants to be a Cleveland Cavalier.

He joins That Man, Thay Guy Who Had Cancer, and Some Guy Named "Chauncey" lol.

This was announced in a private meeting with me to my face unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, underpaid, loyal, and driven staff over here at the Pawn Shop have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you as long as you continue to pay usurious interest on your loans.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future of several days, possibly weeks. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal by a man who believes the earth is flat.

You have given so much and deserve so much more than bed bugs.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:


You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring more hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels in the history of sports and peobably the history of entertainment.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from this idiot "chosen" number "one" in the draft by us sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn, which is that the earth is ROUND. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become, which is NOT the Big Bed Bug.

But the good news is that this idiotic action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The Idiot will be taking the "curse" with him down south or southwest or north or east. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, Irving (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch. Devils do not wear blue. They are covered in blood and pus.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:


Dan Gilbert

Majority Owner

Cleveland Cavaliers