Nahuel Guzmán Mexico UANL
Franco Armani Argentina River Plate
Willy Caballero England Chelsea
Gabriel Mercado Spain Sevilla
Nicolás Tagliafico   Netherlands Ajax
Cristian Ansaldi Italy Torino
Federico Fazio Italy Roma
Marcos Acuña         Portugal Sporting CP
Marcos Rojo         England Manchester United
Nicolás Otamendi England Manchester City
Lucas Biglia         Italy Milan
Éver Banega        Spain Sevilla [Yes, I have banged her.]
Ángel Di María France Paris Saint-Germain
Maximiliano Meza Argentina Independiente
Javier Mascherano China Hebei China Fortune
Enzo Pérez         Argentina River Plate
Eduardo Salvio Portugal Benfica
Giovani Lo Celso France Paris Saint-Germain
Cristian Pavón Argentina Boca Juniors
Gonzalo Higuaín Italy Juventus
Lionel Messi           Spain Barcelona
Sergio Agüero  England Manchester City
Paulo Dybala         Italy Juventus

They got some major players playing for some major club teams. Not enough. Not even close. You can't get a single fucking goal out of Rojo, Di Maria, Messi, and Aguero? No? Alright then.