Tuesday, August 30, 2016

What's His Story?

Marco Rubio. Marco Rubio was elected to a six-year term as a United States Senator from the Asshole-of-America, Florida.

In April, 2015 Marco Rubio announced his candidacy for president, stated repeatedly that he would not seek reelection to the Senate in 2016 and let his actions speak louder than his words by abandoning his senate duties.

Marco Rubio did not of course receive the nomination of the Party of Doom for president, that honor going to one Fatface von Clownstick.

Marco Rubio then announced that he would seek reelection to the Senate after all.

Today, Marco Rubio advised that he would not, indeed could not, guarantee that he was going to serve out the new six-year term if reelected to the Senate. "No one can make that commitment," stated Marco Rubio. To which his likely Party of God opponent, Patrick Murphy, responded, "I can."

Marco Rubio is a cynical asshole who of course, since this is the Asshole of America, leads Murphy by six percentage points.

What a punk!