Seeking the Soul

I am preoccupied and I am restless. I am distracted. I am engaging in escapism, I know. I have not read or written anything serious in a long time. I cannot read or write anything serious. I am disaffected. I turned again today to Pilgrim's Way but was disinterested. I turned to Remembrance of Things Past but couldn't find it. Couldn't find a three-volume 1,000 book. Even as I was looking for it I was thinking, "You're not going to take up Remembrance." I have no animating principle. I am not animated. Nothing is animating me. My soul is blah.