The Joy of America: Fauxpelini

16h16 hours ago

Lawrence Police ‏@LawrenceKS_PD

Call just came out at a laundromat for a man taking his pants off. Pro tip: wear clean clothes to the laundromat so you can keep your 👖 on

13h13 hours ago

Lawrence Police ‏@LawrenceKS_PD

@FauxPelini do you know where Carl is? Trying to ID a suspect

Fake Bo Pelini–  ‏@FauxPelini

@LawrenceKS_PD if he's wearing pants it's not him

10h10 hours ago

Lawrence Police ‏@LawrenceKS_PD

@FauxPelini but he took them off

10h10 hours ago

Fake Bo Pelini ‏@FauxPelini

@LawrenceKS_PD that's him please let him go

10h10 hours ago

Lawrence Police ‏@LawrenceKS_PD

@FauxPelini we have to find him before we can let him go. And we won't let him go unless you're bailing him out

10h10 hours ago

Fake Bo Pelini ‏@FauxPelini

@LawrenceKS_PD do you have access to horse tranquilizers

10h10 hours ago

Lawrence Police ‏@LawrenceKS_PD

@FauxPelini no just squirrel

Some months ago I took the deposition of a police officer.

Prior law enforcement experience?
Lincoln, Nebraska PD.

DO YOU FOLLOW FAUXPELINI?!
(Ear to ear smile) As a matter of fact I do.

(Court reporter and other lawyers present): Who?...What did you say?...What is this?