Sunday, November 18, 2018

A cold is so annoying. It comes on so subtly and you don't know if it's anything at first so you go to work or whatever and then,"Am I getting a cold?" And then once you realize, "Yep, got a cold.", you don't know what to do. You don't feel bad enough like with the flu that you can just in good conscience surrender. So then you have to interrogate yourself. "Hmm, should I stay at work or should I be a little peepy BITCH and go home?" THAT annoys you. If you stay you're going to be annoyed because your nose is running and your throat is a little irritated and it's interfering with your work and if you go home you're going to be annoyed because having a runny nose and a scratchy throat is frigging ANNOYING! And you know there is practically nothing you can do about a cold. Get Airborne, check. Get chicken noodle soup, check. Think I feel better? Do I SOUND like I feel better? Huh? You feel like a baby even accepting commiseration, like it's not even worth it. "Erika, I'm going home I've got a little cold." "Oh, I'm sorry Ben. Feel better." Ooh does baby Ben have booger noses, let's have a pity party one two three ahhh. I feel like you're only entitled to a certain number of "I'm sorry's" in your life and you shouldn't waste one on a cold. "I'm sorry" should be reserved for gunshot wounds, sciatica, Trump. So, I'm fine okay, I'm fucking FINE!