Oh my gosh, Southie, who were sipping Coca-Cola when the day's shenanigans began, beat the 'Arry Kane Club 2-1. Tots never fails to miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Tomorrow MUFC play Arsenal at the Highbury Library. If MUFC win they will be level with Tots for third on points; if the Arse win they will be one behind. United still don't want to hire Pochettino, do they? Solskjær never misses an opportunity.

"Also playing" today, Newcastle continued their impressive close to the season with a 3-2 win at home over Everton, who held the Lily Livers to a scoreless draw last weekend. Castles up to 13th place, six points safe from the Coca-Cola red line.