Don't look now if you're a CUM lover but, um, "Milton Keynes Dons" is beating Chevrolet United of Manchester 3-0 in the 76th minute. I think this is in the FA (Football Association) Cup* or something. MK Dons is a lower division club. I don't even know what division they're in but it ain't the Premier League.

*Ah, the enchanting Capital One Cup, not the FA Cup. I'm starting to feel sorry for Louis van Gaal now. This is embarrassing. (9:42 pm)